I (33F) love my fiance (36M) very much. We have been together for 2 years, living together for one, and spend most of our time together. We share a 680 ft, 1-bedroom apartment, and split all bills.
When we first met, my fiance worked out once/twice a week, saw friends occasionally, and sometimes traveled on the weekends. As our relationship has deepened, he’s explained to me that he feels perfectly content spending the majority of his time with me. His last relationship (12 years) was an unhealthy one, where he often did not want to be at home/did not always feel comfortable with his previous partner. He is happy with me, we are in love, and he’s turned into quite the homebody. He works hard all day (fully remote) and then plays video games in the evening. He doesn’t have friends in the area anymore, and he doesn’t have hobbies that allow him to leave our home.
I am someone who needs alone time in small increments, several times a week. I have communicated this to my fiance many times, starting when we first met and consistently since then. First lovingly, now not as kindly. I have suggested he take weekend trips to visit friends, go for walks, get a beer, go watch football at a bar, etc. He will do one thing for an hour each week, and then slowly begin spending 99% of his time at home again. The only time we spend separately consistently a week is the one-hour he grocery shops (he prefers to do the shopping).
He is the kindest, gentlest and most loving person I know. But recently, over the last 6 months or so, I’ve felt increasingly stifled and incredibly annoyed by him as I feel that I never get space. Small things he does bother me, and I have snapped at him more than I want to. Some of this is probably “leaving the honeymoon phase” but 90% of my annoyance comes from the fact that he will NOT take the initiative to leave our home or do anything without me. I take classes 2 evenings a week, do multiple workout classes a week, and spend time out with friends 2/3 times a week. I give him lots of alone time in our shared space.
Our situation isn’t forever, in a few months we will move closer to my family, have a larger space, and will be closer to a friend group there. I know he’s my soulmate and that he will be the best parent to our future children and the best partner to me, forever. We both have therapists (from home) so I know this is not a mental health issue, he’s just happy to always be home with me but it’s driving me crazy!
Any suggestions on what I can do in the temporary time we continue to share this space? I’ve never felt closer to another person, it’s not a compatibility issue, and I am RARELY annoyed with him in the time following a weekend apart.