My partner M29 and I F28 have purchased our first house about 5 months ago. We have been together almost 4 years.
Lately we have just started arguing constantly and it is really getting me down, to the point where I’m contemplating our relationship.
This year we’ve had plans to try for a baby and to get engaged. We also share bank accounts for reference.
These fights start because I’ll misinterpret something and I can openly admit that my communication is not great – I don’t know why I just get straight on the defence when he tells me something, so I have also tried to not be so defensive and actually listen to him speak and try to understand where he’s coming from.
However recently the way he is speaking to me leaves me feeling like there is something wrong with me, that I’m not all there in the head, that I don’t have any goals, that I don’t nurture him, that I don’t treat him how a woman should treat their partner. I’ve told him this as well that he is making me feel like I’m worthless.
Last night we got into another argument because he was tired and I was asking him what’s wrong, he started being very snappy with me and I thought he was angry at me. I told him that and he said no why are you such a pick me girl I can’t even be tired without you thinking it’s all about you.
We tried to talk about it and he then said I’m sucking the life out of him, and after a busy day at work the last thing he wants to do is come home and have to deal with me… that fucking hurt.
Our communication doesn’t work, we don’t meet in the middle. I’ve told him sometimes I need reassurance and he said “stop expecting me to communicate like a woman because I’m not doing that”.
I want to leave but it’s hard, we own a new house together, share all of our bank accounts. I thought this was someone I was going to marry and have a family with and it feels like if I leave then it’s getting ripped from me. My self confidence is so low, if he thinks I’m a burden then what are other potential partners going to think of me?
Can this even be fixed? If so how do we move forward? And if I end things then how do I restart my life from scratch again?