I'm looking for some honest advice on how to meet more people and get dates outside of dating apps.
I've tried most of the usual routes already. Dating apps haven't worked well for me, I've done speed dating, MeetUp groups, and in the past I even tried cold approaching in public. I don't really do that anymore because I don't want to come off as intrusive or make someone uncomfortable.
For additional context, I’m more on the nerdy, creative and low key side. I’m into photography, LEGO builds, reading, and going to live shows.
More recently, I experimented with Reddit personals and posted dating ads in them. I did get a couple of responses from each, but they didn’t really go anywhere. One person told me I wasn’t her type, and another conversation faded out pretty quickly. I’m not upset about it, but it did make me step back and reassess whether this approach is actually effective for me.
I've also heard the common suggestions like joining classes, volunteering, or hobby groups. In theory those make sense, but I currently work full time doing app-based gig work, so my schedule is pretty unpredictable and most of my time is spent working.
Just to clarify, I'm not looking for advice centered around church or religious communities. I respect that it works for some people, but it's not something I'm interested in, and I'd like to keep the focus on practical dating advice.
I'm not into the bar or club scene anymore either. It's loud, chaotic, and doesn't really feel like a good environment for meeting someone I'd actually want to date.
Bear in mind, I'm not expecting instant results or a guaranteed girlfriend. I'm just trying to figure out where and how people are realistically meeting partners these days when apps aren't working and social routines are limited.
I'm also 28M and live in OC, California.
If you've been in a similar situation or found something that actually worked for you, I'd really appreciate hearing it.