I (M19) have a friend (F21) who I have known for a bit more than four years. We text nearly every day, but have never met in person, mostly because I'm in Latvia and she is in Russia. This year, and especially in the last few months, we became much closer: deeper conversations, sometimes warm and affectionate moments. At the same time, which is nice, but it's nothing that I would ve too excited about, even though anyone I tell about her thinks I'm in love.
The problem is that especially lately, our communication has become one-sided. She's back to complaints about life, people, and dating, and talks a lot about how people she finds are not attractive, or how bad they all are, and yet she keeps just going back for them all, seemingly mostly for benefits from them paying for her, etc.
I try to be supportive, listen, and not pressure her to live the way I think would be best, or anything like that. Sometimes I offered help or suggested options, but I increasingly feel that she does not really want or value that support and as if she expects me to fix her problems. When I'm as always just there and offer help when asked, it has become not enough.
She also said that if she doesn't see a man as a potential husband, she doesn't really need him (but of course she will still reap whatever they give). And in the recent chat she sent, she was saying things about how she doesn't believe in friendship between man and a woman and how she still does not have any worthy friend in her life and how she is alone. Because of this, I began to feel like she may not fully think of me as anything really.
Now I feel emotionally exhausted and am thinking about reducing my involvement because I don't want to be an "emotional crutch," but at the same time, I don't want to leave her and I still have some hopes, even while feeling used.
So how can I tell where support ends and unhealthy dependence begins? And does it make sense to continue this thing if my efforts lead to neither change or clarity? Any help would be welcomed
TL:DR – I feel like my friend is actually using me as an emotional crutch and I don't know if I can or want to keep doing that