I (F28) got out of a longterm marriage with a man that used to have a porn addiction, so his idea of sex, a woman’s body, and intimacy was skewed. He never truly made me feel desired and a lot of how he acted during sex felt performative. I’d get dressed in front of him or get all dolled up and he wouldn’t notice. I’d send sexy pictures and he wouldn’t reply. He’s the only one I’ve ever been with so it’s my only experience with a man up until now.
I’m dating a man that absolutely adores me. He’s very attracted to me and isn’t scared to show it. We’re both taking it slow physically, but the last couple days we’ve done a lot of fully clothed cuddling and he’s been feeling different parts of me. He wants to pay attention and get to know every single part of my body so intimately. He wants to slowly kiss everything from my hips to my fingertips.
It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. But it’s also hard for me to not panic and wonder if it’s giving creepy guy who just wants my body or if this is what it’s supposed to be like. I feel safe and calm when he does it, but then after he leaves I start to overthink it. We’re probably going to have sex this weekend, so I’m trying to just mentally prepare for it. I know I’ll feel more physically “seen” than ever, and I want to enjoy it, but it’s just so different than what I’m used to.
Thoughts and advice would be helpful.