I'm gonna start this by saying that I'm not the type of wife that forbids my husband from watching porn though it's one aspect I don't love.

we have been married now for about a year. I knew of his ocasional porn usage before we tied the knot.

the problem is, today I did something I know I shouldn't have. we both know each other's passwords but we don't have a habit of going through them. however, today he forgot his phone at home and curiosity got the better of me.

needless to say it was a lot of porn searches. and by a lot…I mean like 1 or 2 days a week with pages and pages of porn. so it's not every day, but like a lot. anyway, this part isn't what bothered me.

the things that mostly bothered me is

  1. recently it's been a lot of solo porn instead of the typical 2 actor set up. I don't know why this bothers me more.

  2. tabs to cam rooms. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and thinking it was just a pop up ad or whatever so idk.

  3. there are days where he has porn searches on days we are supposed to be together all day. so I'm assuming he's doing it when I'm sleeping? or stepped away. like we visited my family overseas and were super busy and staying at my sister's house. there was plenty of porn searches during one of those days and I must've been sleeping. he also reads like the porn manga so idk if it's like a bed time story to him or something.

  4. he lied to me. he asked me google something on his phone (we were at a family gathering) and a recent search said "fat pregnant" I looked at him and cocked an eyebrow. he said he was searching about the health safety of fat pregnancy. yes I'm fat and lightly touched on the topic of starting a family so I didnt think anything of it. anyway, turns out that he was in fact searching for far pregnant porn. mind you this is when we were in my home country meeting my family.

side note that most of the porn he watches somewhat resembles me/my body type so…

I'm not mad, I knew what I was getting into. he doesn't have any tooo concerning kink searches. and he's literally the greatest. he's always there to help me, he is kind and patient, he is attentive, I don't have to clean up after him or cook or take care of him. he's gentle and helpful. just incredible.

now that he is home I think he's noticing that something is on my mind and asked me what's going on. he's great in every aspect so this is not the hill I want to die on. but I'm grappling with my feelings over this. what are your thoughts?


Leave a Reply