Just before Christmas, I discovered my fiance whom I’ve been with for going on 10 years has been texting and flirting with a college of his. When I confronted him, he claims he thought they had a connection & even suggested separating.
A few days later, he came to me crying that I’m the one he wants to be with and to keep our family together (we have kids). He claimed he has cut off all contact with the woman and blocked on all social media. I believed him for the first few days and after he showered me with elaborate Xmas gifts which I know he only purchased after this discovery.
Since then, his phone lock code has been changed, he has changed all his privacy settings on social media (eg hiding his friends list). I know he is still friends with this woman on Facebook & I suspect still on Snapchat.
I feel physically sick about the idea he is still speaking to her and want to ask him about it, but the idea of bringing it up makes my anxiety rise. He has in the past, actually defensively and argumentative when I have brought things up and the last thing I want it another blow up. I just want to know if I’m feeling insane and insecure or have valid reasons do my doubt in this relationship.
How can I subtly bring it up without causing a massive argument? And, if it turns out I’m just insecure and riddled with anxiety, what can I do to help get over these feelings and try to save this relationship?
Long story short – partner has previously microcheated and looking for advice on how to talk to him about my insecurities and to find out if he’s still in contact.
How can I stop being so anxious and get trust back if it’s infact nothing further