My bf has been dealing with alcoholism. When we started dating, I wasn’t aware that he was Christian or that he had an alcohol problem. At the beginning of the year, after a big fight on New Year’s Eve caused by him being drunk and annoying, he decided to start a new path: staying sober and returning to practicing Christianity.
On the other hand, I’ve never practiced any religion. I do believe in God, but I don’t follow any religion. I’ve never gone to church, although I was baptized Catholic.
Since the beginning of our relationship, we had sex like any other couple. Then one day, he decided he wanted to fully practice his religion and stay away from any physical contact not even kissing. Because of that, we stopped seeing each other for about a month. Eventually, that faded, and one night he asked me to come over, he was already drinking again.
Now he has decided to do this again, but the difference is that things are much more serious between us. We live together, share household expenses, and he has introduced me to his family. He has been asking me to give religion a chance. I said yes, but I don’t agree with certain things, and I don’t like following dogmas especially after so many years of not practicing any religion. We’ve only been dating for a couple of months.
Deep inside, something is telling me to walk away, but I love him somehow. What confuses me the most is how inconsistent he is. For example, we had sex just yesterday after 17 days, I guess because he couldn’t hold himself anymore. He says he would be okay with things like oral sex but not full sex, even though he admits he wants sex as much as I do. Still, he insists that we should stay away from it as much as possible.
My best friend thinks this behavior is manipulative. On top of that, I pay for the groceries, and he’s not in a good financial situation. I have more savings, so I try to support him as much as I can. I live in his apartment, but I’m still paying rent on a house I previously rented. He spends a lot of time playing video games on the computer, we don’t say “I love you” daily, and I really want to feel loved, desired, and happy.
I don’t know what to do. I’m also dealing with other family problems, and he’s the only person I have right now. I don’t have family nearby or close friends in this city. None of this makes sense to me we live like a married couple, this lack of intimacy living together together is just going to make the relationship wear off.
What would you do in my situation?