So, my closest friend's [M32] wedding is this year and I have been informed by another friend that I'm not chosen as a best man/groomsman, and it has put a damp cloth on the entire thing.
My friend and I have known eachother for 10+ years. I was there when he proposed to his partner. I've been there through thick and thin. And he has been there for me.
A couple of days ago I was thinking about his bachelor party and started a chatgroup with a few close friends of his and I. Then I got a call from our mutual close friend [M32] telling me that he and two others already started planning due to the fact that they were chosen to be best men and he asked me if I was. My heart dropped as I said no and his reaction was a surprised "oh".
The three people chosen are his three eldest friends, I get that. But If you chose three people, why not four? Am I at least owed an explanation? They don't even live in the same city as he and I do and haven't done for many many years.
We've talked daily for all these years. Either in person, by phone or mostly by messages. I'm beginning to realise that I'm just another friend to him and it hurts, I feel like I've totally misjudged how close we actually are.
I don't want to make his wedding about me, but I'm struggling with feelings of rejection and self-doubt.
How do I process these feelings in a healthy way? I'm thinking about talking to him about it but that feels like a risky thing to do. What is a good way to approach this without making it awkward or guilt-inducing?
Side note: where I come from the number of best men and or groomsmen is not limited.