This is pretty mild compared to the stuff on here but I just needed to get this off my chest.
My girlfriend (25F) and I (28M) have been dating for 6 months. Everything is going great: she's an amazing, fun, and caring person, and I feel like I can truly be myself with her. I see a long-term future.
We met on Hinge about 6 months ago. Our first date was great, we immediately hit it off. At the end, we kissed and started to plan a second date, and it was clear we were both interested. We didn't sleep together (I never have sex on the first date). After our first date, I had to leave town for work for about a week. But during that time, we still texted every day multiple times per day. Two weeks after the first date, we go on a second date which is amazing, spend the whole day together, and this time we do sleep together. A week later, at the end of our third date, I ask her if she was dating anybody else and she said "yes but I prefer you", and we made the relationship exclusive after.
I didn't think much of it at the time, but a couple weeks ago, we were both drunk, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked her more details about the other guy she was seeing when we first started going out (probably shouldn't have…). We had a long but respectful and calm conversation about it where she told me some details: 1) after our first date, she went on a first date with the other guy and ended up having sex with him (another detail, she told me he wore a condom, so no safety concerns); 2) after our second date, she also went on a second date with the other guy but this time did not sleep with him. During our conversation, she clearly seemed uneasy but still told me what seems to be the truth, which I appreciate. I told her "that's ok, we weren't exclusive, you haven't done anything wrong, I'll get over it". However, I still find myself thinking about that situation and can't help but feel it leaves a stain on the beginning of our relationship.
Her reasoning for dating two people and having sex with the other guy was that 1) she doesn't think of sex as that intimate, 2) she assumed most people on dating apps are dating multiple people (she's probably right), and 3) she moved fast in her last relationship, which she says was a mistake because her ex had a lot of red flags that maybe she would have seen if there had been a reference comparison.
I really don't mean to be slut shaming her. I have dated people who have had many sexual partners before me and it trully didn't bother me at all. I really don't care what happens before me. I guess I'm writing this whole thing because I want to do some introspection as to why it does bother me when my partner did see somebody else after we first met. I know that logically she didn't do anything wrong because we weren't exclusive and this was in the very early stages of the relationship.
From my point of view, when I really like someone on a first date, I put my other matches on hold. I would still go on other (already planned) first dates, but I wouldn't have sex with them, and for sure not go on a second date if I believe that there is a chance of a relationship with the first person (for the precise reason that it would leave a stain on the hypothetical relationship if I did). I guess that's the main crux of my feelings: did she not feel the same about me early on? Was she hesitating between the two of us? Do we just have different approaches to dating?
This is what I would like advice on. Will getting the answers to my questions help me feel better in the long run? Or details like this should stay unspoken? I haven't brought up the subject since our conversation.
TLDR: My girlfriend was dating two people during our first few dates and I am feeling uneasy about it. Will bringing up the subject again and getting more details about the situation help me get past this situation, or I just push my ego aside and move on?