My [M29] older brother [M41] spent much of his late 20s through his early 40s severely depressed and unemployed. During that time he accumulated debt trying (and abandoning) multiple business ideas, including spending some of our parents’ retirement saving. He also got employed a few times then quit only after a few months.
He was extremely gifted growing up – top student, high-level athlete, black belts in a couple of martial arts – and I think early success made adulthood especially hard for him when things stopped coming easily.
Recently, he found steady work near the city where I live. For the first time in years, I see motivation and a sense of direction in him again, and it’s honestly encouraging. I want to support him in a way that helps him keep moving forward without enabling old patterns or giving handouts.
So to men who got their shit together in their 40s: what kind of support would have mattered most to you when you were trying to rebuild your life?