I know that the general feelings towards the topic of female orgasms are “if you’re asking if you orgasmed, you didn’t”. The issue is that I am either not orgasming by myself OR not orgasming with my partner, or I do both (or neither). they just feel so different.
If I masturbate, it can take one minute and it feels like pulse or heartbeat around my clitoris. Rarely any heavy breathing or anything like that. It just feels good. The way I do it is literally just crossing my thighs and rubbing them together and it feels great, has a build up, I can hold it for a more intense release and then it starts that pulsing feeling. Sometimes I do penetration as well but only get that pulsing feeling very rarely from that but when I do the thigh things after that it feels even better. But the penetration itself feels very nice.
With my partner, I take a lot longer, sometimes like 10-20 minutes and it totally depends on the day if I can even have an orgasm (or at least what I think is one), but the whole thing feels so much better to the point that I don’t want to orgasm just so we can keep going. With him there is also the whole build up and then a release – legs shaking, sometimes whole body shaking, sometimes I even cry because of how intense it is. BUT I don’t feel that pulse feeling like when I do it myself. That is when he fingers me or plays with my clitoris, if he does both I cry more times than not after that. When we have penetrative sex, it feels very good, especially doggy, sometimes it feels like a build up but nowhere near as intense as with fingers.
All that to say, masturbation and sex with a partner makes me feel very different types of releases and I’m just wondering if this is normal or common? Do I just not orgasm at all or are both just different types of orgasms that depend on the context of being alone vs. with a partner? He is also my first partner so I don’t have anyone to compare him to.