Need an honest ans/solution !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TL;DR
25M, MBBS student from India. Met a girl via arranged marriage setup. We liked each other but I’m not deeply in love yet. Later I found she had a long past relationship that her family doesn’t fully know about. Ex created family drama and disappeared. Now we are emotionally + physically involved. My family doesn’t like her, marriage isn’t possible for years due to my career. I feel trapped between honesty, responsibility and self-doubt.
Full story
I’m 25M, 1st generation doctor from rural West Bengal. Took me 4 years to crack NEET. Lost friends, lived isolated life, now in 3rd prof Part-1.
Mid-2025 my parents started looking for arranged marriage proposals. I clearly said I’m not ready but agreed to meet one family just to see.
We met. We both liked each other — but honestly I can’t say I fell deeply in love. I still feel uncertain and sometimes I do feel attraction towards other girls, which makes me doubt my own feelings.
Later she told me she had a 9-year relationship, emotionally and physically. I said past doesn’t matter to me personally.
But things exploded.
Her ex started calling regularly, then one day came to her house and told her mother everything. Huge drama in her family. Her father is a heart patient and mostly outside state so he still doesn’t know fully.
After that her ex disappeared.
Now for last 5 months we are emotionally and physically involved. Her family invites me, she is emotionally attached to me and has changed a lot since meeting me.
But reality:
• My mother doesn’t like her.
• My family doesn’t know the real story.
• In my social background this past can become a huge problem later.
• I cannot marry before PG (3–4 years minimum).
• I’m not fully sure I can love her the way she loves me.
I feel guilty continuing when I myself am not 100% emotionally settled.
Am I being unfair to her by staying?
Should I step back before it becomes irreversible?
Or is this just fear and overthinking?
Looking for blunt advice, not emotional validation.