TL;DR: I 28 F reconciled with my ex 28M after moving cities and we did long-distance for a year. There were issues like smoking and toxicity. He broke up with me, and I moved abroad. Now, after a year, he’s back in touch, but I’m confused about whether to give it another chance or move on. Need advice!
Hi everyone,
I’m feeling really confused and could use some advice. I’ve known my ex for about four years. We initially met while working together, and later I moved to another city for a new job. When I was leaving, he confessed his feelings, and we reconciled, starting a long-distance relationship for about a year.
However, there were many differences. He smoked a lot, and I was concerned about that for our future. There were also moments of toxicity; for example, when I expressed my frustration, he’d punch chairs, and I’d become so irritated that I’d hurt myself. On my birthday, when I asked him not to smoke, he did anyway, and I ended up walking away and crying alone for hours.
Eventually, on Valentine’s Day 2024, he broke up with me. I then moved abroad in June for a new job. When I told him, he wanted to meet for closure, but I declined. Later, in August, he reached out to check on me, but the next morning he said it wasn’t good for him to talk.
In November, feeling lonely and homesick, I texted him for Diwali. We talked about reconsidering our relationship and even marriage, but then he said he didn’t want regular contact and preferred to wait until I returned to India to discuss things face-to-face. He also seems to be talking to other people, which makes it all the more confusing.
I’m torn because I still care about him deeply and feel that he understands me on an emotional level. But I’m also worried about the issues we had and whether it’s wise to make big life decisions based on that.
I’d really appreciate your thoughts and any advice you have. Thank you!