Hi all, so this year I met an amazing woman. She's 100% my type and everything from hanging out, to sex, to deep conversations, to dealing with lesser days, flows nearly perfect. We are very in love and I'm starting to think I wanna have a future with this woman. She's not my girlfriend yet, but we've agreed to be exclusive and really get to know each other to see if this can go somewhere.
So now that I've stated the perfections, let me list the things that are a problem and I hope you guys can help me figure out my feelings:
1) let's address the elephant in the room: the age gap. She's 11 years my senior. I'm a bit of an old soul while she looks and behaves quite young. People genuinely lose their marbles when she reveals her age (including me at first) because she looks 29. Age isn't inherently a big problem, however it does highlight that we're in different phases of life. I work professionally in the music industry as a producer and coach and career-wise I would ideally want children in a year or 3 from now. This might pose a problem for her because of fertility. If she gets pregnant earlier than that, can I still be a good father while also still trying to build my career? I don't want to be an absent deadbeat father.
2) she already has a 10 year old son, whom I know. I used to teach him, which is how I met her. So while I wasn't initially leaping with joy, I quickly adapted and accepted that her son is part of her life. This is all good. But recently her ex, the boy's father, has been causing a lot of chaos and drama. Drama that reminds me of my own childhood and my absent father. I've been in way too many toxic relationships before this girl and I'm proud to say that I've reached a point where I don't do drama anymore. I don't know if I want this chaos in my life that her ex causes. This has nothing to do with me and isn't my problem, however I know myself: I care so if I keep dating her and bond with the boy , eventually I'm gonna get involved…
She has told me she would want a second child and she thinks I'm the man she wishes she met earlier in life. (Her previous marriage was a result of cultural practice that she broke free from, not love.) The doctor said she's fertile like a woman in her early 30s.
The question here is: do I follow this feeling in my heart that says I like her, or do I follow these thoughts in my head that sums up the practical reasons to call it off?
TLDR: I met an amazing woman 11 years older than me who has a kid and Baby-daddy stress. I like her a lot and see myself building a future with her, however the bagage that she brings + the age gap is a lot. What is wise?