Hi everyone,
So I (22f) have been talking to (supposedly 31m) since last year and I feel like we have gotten very close, we talk everyday and have the same interests and hobbies. I never really questioned his behaviour up until recently, I will give you some background on him from what he’s told me. He has told me lives alone with his 2 female cats in a 3 floor house, he has a job as an engineer or welder, hasn’t had much luck with dating and finds being single so boring and he is very introverted. I told people who I am close to about some things I am questioning and they’ve all told me to run as fast as I can.
I talk to him via WhatsApp, met him online on a dating site (which he has now deleted), he had an instagram account with 0 followers but was following 44 accounts so i requested him and the following went down to 36. He removed me and then changed one of the letters in his username and then his account disappeared. I’ve never had him on Snapchat, he did appear In my contacts quick add and the bitmoji looked exactly like him but I went to look again and it was gone. He always sends photos on a timer so I can’t screenshot, says he doesn’t like taking selfies, fair enough i said, but I’ve asked him for a house tour and he said no, he sent me a photo of his PC and it was in the settings section where you could see his details and he scribbled out his name. He spoke about his ex and said she was crazy, then she wanted to get married and have kids and then he caught her on tinder using her selfies but a different name and he says “I deserve better than her, when I found out I wasn’t aggressive but we’d been together for a few years at this point.” He has said stuff like “not to big myself up but I’m probably the nicest person and least crazy you could ever meet.” He also said he wouldn’t marry her as she’s apparently not ‘wifey material.’ He’s always saying how he wouldn’t go on nights out if he was in a relationship and he said there’s always trouble at the end of the night as people try and fight him as he’s so big. He always wants to meet in a city as well and spend the weekend together, we live about 15 mins apart but he’s so adamant on going to a city as it’s less easy to be recognised there 🤨 he’s also deleted all of our WhatsApp photos and says it’s due to storage, which okay yeah i guess that happens ? He once sent me a photo by accident and it was of him in bed with his boxers on with a different bedding on to what he normally has, I questioned him and he dodged the question 🥴
I only know his name as “Josh” and he’s never told me his last name….
The only thing I know about him is his so called name, he has a brother and sister who’s wedding he went to as there was a photo of him in a suit, a baby niece and nephew and he doesn’t drive.
Back in October we arranged to meet and he texts me saying he can’t make it as he didn’t get paid, I questioned that as the company he works for is very reliable and they pay very good wages. The next time we were supposed to meet he didn’t turn up, said his phone died and he missed his alarms, that’s when I started to question everything. He kept saying how sorry he is and how he’s a good person etc. I met him for the first time recently and something felt off….? I know he said he has anxiety but he was sort of shifty and couldn’t really look at me, his phone was slightly old and the case had crumbs in it, wallpaper was default and I couldn’t really see his screen. I will admit, he looks a lot older than his photos but I know he’s a real person, but I don’t know if “josh” is his real name. He spoke about his past relationships, his jobs, what he enjoys etc, and said “I found being single so boring I don’t get how people do it, I think moving forward we need to have a phone call once a week.” I was like oh okay😂. I was speaking to him like normal and I haven’t heard anything from him for a few days, he’s seen my text as well.
I know this may seem a bit crazy of me, but I really don’t know what to think of this situation? I kind of feel lied to and a lot of people have told me he’s probably in a relationship, but I keep thinking to myself there’s no way, he told me he’s on his own etc and struggled with dating. I was doing some thinking and I thought “why would i get into a relationship with someone who I know barely anything about?” I guess because i am quite young maybe I am easy to manipulate 😣 I always get told I am too kind and give people too many chances but this situation has made me feel sick, he was so kind to me in the beginning and helped me with my assignments and I really started to develop feelings for him, and now ? I just feel so stupid and confused.
Any advice and honest feedback would be appreciated 💚 I think I may take some time to just focus on me and get my degree and move on from this
Thank you 🙏