It’s always been my (26F) dream to live abroad in my twenties, in the same country I did a semester exchange in during college. Last year, as I was preparing to start applying for jobs abroad, I met my boyfriend (25M). We had an instant connection – the kind that even strangers notice and comment on – and it’s been the healthiest relationship of my life. Both of us were single for a long time before this, and we’re not the type to date casually. He’s shown me again and again through his words and actions how much he values me and wants to be with me.
The problem is, I still want to move abroad, and he doesn’t want to do long distance. I’m not planning on going away forever – I only want to go for about 18 months – but long distance is just something he knows in his heart that he isn’t capable of doing. We went back and forth for a few months, trying to figure out a way to make it work for both of us, but we just couldn’t find a compromise. So we decided to break up. And I’m devastated.
I’ve been toying with the idea of staying put and not moving abroad, but I think I’d probably regret it, and he said himself that he wouldn’t let me give up my dream for him. The thing is, I’m struggling to even feel excited about my trip if it means losing him. I know that no relationship is certain, but I really believe that he is my guy, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But I also believe that I need to experience living abroad as an adult.
I have never been so torn about something in my life. Right now, I feel equally strongly about both options, but it feels like I’m losing something extremely important to me, no matter what I choose.
I guess I’m just looking for some advice, stories, or reassurance. How can I feel better about my decision to move abroad?