I’m a female in my 20s and as long as I can remember have always been weighed down by one thing or another. I’ve genuinely never been truly happy and for as long as I can remember had thoughts of not being (sorry to be negative!). I do hold down a full time job etc, but I just find it so baffling seeing people go through the every day motions of life seemingly ok without questioning the purpose of life every single day?
I kind of see life in layers – it seems as though so many people experience life on the superficial upper layers, going through the motions, living life as it comes etc. but I just seem to feel and think everything so incredibly deeply and painfully.
Sorry if this doesn’t make sense – probably just a New Year Ramble!😅
Edit:
I’ve tried anti depressants, therapy, gratitude journals, physical activity, good diet etc. I’ve tried to build up a stable job, bought my own home etc. But it’s like I genuinely can’t access happiness. It’s this deep rooted unhappiness that’s woven into every part of me.