I (30F) have been single for 7 years. My last couple relationships were extremely traumatic. I’ve been trying to date the last few years, unsuccessfully. My overall experience with men is that they’re more interested in my body for sex, and not interested in me seriously/emotionally/etc. For reference, I think I’m a catch, idk. I’m attractive, very fit and athletic, smart, highly educated, creative, and goofy.
Over the spring, I matched with someone online and we instantly hit it off (M28). It felt really good to be so into someone who was just as into me, it was the first time in a long time I felt any hope towards something growing and moving forward.
One month in, he came over for our 4th date and we were planning to have our first sleepover. We ended up having sex, neither of us finished, but whatever nbd.
A few minutes later, I come back into my room after brushing my teeth to get ready for bed, and he’s sitting up clearly in a moment of anxiety/panic. He goes off on a whole rant about “I don’t want to do this if I can only see you once a week […] sex is really important to me and I feel like I am taking something from you. […] I’m a morning person […] I need to try and get my accountant license […] I wanted to make this work but I don’t think I can, etc”
It was a full word vomit spiral that I just sat and listened to, and it finished with him ending things with me right there, and then leaving at 1am.
It sent me into such a depressive, anxious spiral and triggered so much of my past trauma. It’s been 8 months and I still can’t stop thinking about how hurt and disappointed I am. But I also still can’t stop thinking about how much I enjoyed being with him, his affection, and getting to know a new person. I’m at my lowest point of disappointment, pessimism, and loneliness I feel dating men. I don’t know what to do at this point, being single is such shit but dealing with men’s emotional neglect is truly a curse I wish on nobody. Being a straight woman is shit.
What sucks even more is that when I vent to my friends about my experiences, it’s always met with “I can’t believe you’re still single, you’ll find someone”. Which makes everything feel worse, idk. I don’t know how to move on or feel any hope towards not being romantically alone my whole life.
TL:DR – how to move on from getting dumped in the middle of the night 8 months ago and being chronically single.