Hi all, longtime lurker first time poster here.
My girlfriend (25) and I (23M) have been dating for around 8 or so months. She has her own apartment and is in school while I’m a current grad student staying in my mom’s house (my parents have been divorced since I was 6 btw) to save as much money as possible. On weekends when I’m not working or have a lot of schoolwork (usually Thursday night until Sunday morning) I visit my girlfriend at her apartment and we usually go on dates or play homebody for the weekend. We’re not particularly well off financially at the moment but we make do with our individual wages and are mindful of how much we spend.
Recently, due to factors outside of my control, I may not be able to fully pay for and attend this coming spring semester at school. Obviously, this situation has upset me greatly and I’m still scrambling to do whatever I can to secure a loan despite not having the greatest credit. My dad is offering to act as a co-signer on the loan (the offers we’ve gotten so far haven’t been ideal and carry very unforgiving interest rates) but he’s very adamant that I stop seeing my girlfriend during the weekend because, according to him, my staying over is what’s causing my life to “fall apart”.
For context, this is what our weekends look like:
My girlfriend works until well into the evening on Thursdays so I usually pick her up after work and we drive to her apartment nearby and spend the night together. On Friday she has classes all day so I take that time to get errands done or get ahead of any schoolwork I may have. On Saturday we have essentially the whole day together and on Sunday morning I leave her apartment and go to work. On Sunday evening I come back to my mom’s house. Out of all that time we really only have a combined day and a half with each other and that extra half is just us decompressing after work/school.
I’ve done my best to defend her and our relationship but he continues insisting that because of my girlfriend’s presence in my life I’m “not living my life correctly”. He insists that she is the reason for my financial instability despite my girlfriend and I having no serious financial ties and me strictly budgeting our weekends.
The past few days have been very difficult for me mentally and I’m struggling with how to approach setting appropriate boundaries between myself and my father. I love my dad and he’s the parent that I’ve always been closest to all my life but I feel like his stubbornness with this matter is really driving a wedge between us. My first instinct was to appease his wishes and stop seeing her every weekend but I know that that isn’t a long term solution for anyone. I’m an adult and I shouldn’t have to get my dad’s permission to see my girlfriend.
So with all of this said does anyone have any advice or tips for how to approach this situation? Anything and everything would be incredibly appreciated!
Tl;dr: I’ve recently fallen under some difficult times and my father is essentially giving me an ultimatum in regards to me seeing my girlfriend. Would like some tips on how to deal with a parent attempting to interfere with an adult relationship.