What do you think? 3 years relationship
We had a disagreement, a small one on the surface. I was worried because she was out late and didn’t respond, so I tried calling to check if she was okay, not to control. Later, I was told that my worry felt intrusive, that I was being anxious, and that I crossed a boundary.
For me, if someone needs alone time and communicates that they don’t wish to talk that day, I respect it. I wouldn’t call and would give them space. Our routine has always been a midnight call, and I’m okay missing it as long as it’s communicated.
That was the moment something shifted…
I realised the way I show care.. checking in, and worrying is part of my vulnerability. And when that vulnerability was dismissed instead of talked through, it feels emotionally distant.
What hurt most wasn’t the conflict.
It was the silence that followed and closure without repairs. No curiosity. No attempt to understand. Just emotional distance.
I reflected, apologised where I could, and tried to adjust. But I also noticed how tired I felt. Tired of providing care that isn’t wanted. That’s when I understood, misaligned care turns into exhaustion. No one was wrong here. It’s just our ways of loving just didn’t match and compatible.
I just stopped having the capacity to keep loving where my vulnerability is not something she wants to engage with.
In the end, I chose to walked away because when vulnerability isn’t met with understanding, the heart learns to step back. it is about choosing yourself and loving yourself.