My husband and I are currently going through a VERY bad patch. I’m wanting a divorce and he’s not. We’ve been fighting every single day since it was first brought up. Last night we came to the agreement to seek marriage counseling but knowing that nothing may come of it and we still divorce.
For context, we’ve always been okay with messing with each other while the other is asleep. CNC. It’s not for everyone. But we love it. Anyway, I’ve been keeping him at arms length. No loving touches, no sex, no nothing. We fell asleep in the same bed last night just watching a movie and trying to be friends. I woke up at 2:30 am with his fingers inside of me. I thought it was a dream but it wasn’t. I just lay there and he continues and does his thing. He has sex with me and is kissing my neck. I’m not saying no or stop or anything like that but I’m not contributing, I’m just laying there, not moving.
I felt disgusted in the moment and the more I think about it today, I feel like that shouldn’t have happened. Idk if I have a right to feel that way or not but I guess I just needed to get it off my chest, and out of my head in writing.