My girlfriend(33) and I(37) are on the verge of ending our relationship. I do know we are two unhealed people who are trying to make a relationship work. She lacks communication and it often brings a side out of me I don’t like to see.
For a year I’ve been asking her to check up on me, you know how was your day, how was the gym, etc. I get it, it’s something she’s never done so I expressed to just ask me every once in a while. While strides were made, it seemed like it was a chore for her. She’ll ask for a couple days then stop. I’ll bring it back up and it was always a fight, an excuse of why it couldn’t be done. It did get tiring to continually have to ask.
During our last conversation, she said she tried to stick it through and I agreed as did I. She expressed she gave me a lot of grace for my anger which she did. She told me I didn’t give her any grace for her lack of communication or her mental health issues. I told her I’ve been talking to you for a year about communication and asked if that wasn’t grace? She replied no. I told her I been pushing you to go to therapy and checking up on you the way I could. Asked her is that not grace. Her reply was no.
I started doing therapy a month ago to start healing and bettering myself. Everything she asked of me, I’ve done. Often I’ll ask what she needs from me and her answer is nothing. Ask how she wants to be loved and communicated with and her answer is I don’t know. It seem like one of us is trying to make it work and the other either doesn’t care or is too comfortable.
TD/LR: is this fixable or a walk away situation?
Update: because we are always under and around each other, she’s suggesting to live in separate apartments. This way we start finding our own individuality and heal without always being up under each other.