My 21M boyfriend and me 21F have been dating for almost 3 years and for a couple months we’ve had this topic of smoking weed and nicotine where he doesn’t feel comfortable with me smoking cigarettes or vapes because he has friends who are very addicted to them and has had family who have gotten cancer from it while I don’t feel comfortable with him smoking weed because of how I was raised and the side effects it has and I’ve heard it also makes you have higher risks of cancer. After a fight we had with smoking weed we set a boundary where he won’t smoke weed as long as I don’t smoke nicotine.
Fast forward to last week he has been hanging out with his friends more which by itself I don’t mind I’m glad he can have his fun, however, his friends all smoke nic and weed and it’s something they do every time they hang out, he tells me it’s “stuff that guys do” but idk how true that is (for some reason it sounds so weird for me). My friends are completely different, they don’t smoke anything and don’t even like the idea of smoking so they shit it off completely, they don’t drink either so our hang outs are so much different from my bfs. The reason why I’m worried is because he’s told me his friends smoke so much he breathes all that second hand smoke and has felt dizzy from it, they even gave him a joint an he didn’t inhale any of it but still felt bad for trying it and told me right away. I talk to him again and have asked stuff like if I’m being controlling with that boundary and he tells be that “a little bit but I understand where you’re coming from.” I feel so guilty when he says that and sometimes he jokes that he is “unfortunately sober”, I even asked him if the fact that he can’t smoke with his friends bothers him and he tells me “50/50 but it’s just because it’s something we always do when we hangout” honestly I feel guilty and idk how wrong or right I am since it’s a boundary we both agreed on, what should it do? How should I talk to him about it? I don’t want to change the boundary because smoking weed is a big no for me and I don’t want to break up with him just because of that an maybe it’s just me but the fact that his friends smoke every time they hang out concerns me
TL;DR I’m worried about my 21M boyfriend smoking weed