Sorry for the long post.
Prior to dating, we were sleeping together with no conversation about boundaries or expectations of one another. I had recently gotten out of a relationship. I wasn’t honest about how recently it was. It had been less than a month. We started spending more time together. I was still sleeping with and talking to other men, including my ex. We started developing feelings. I cut off the other men when we started dating. I never told him any of this. Fast forward, we get married.
Over time, bits of information would come out and didn’t add up to him. This made him suspicious. He went through an old journal of mine because he felt there was more to the story. This contained details of what I did before we were in a relationship. I think what hurts so bad is that he didn’t find out about things from me, even though I had ample opportunity to completely come clean.
He has asked me over and over for the whole truth. I don’t remember the exact timeline of things, like when I slept with certain people. He has reached out to people from my past for more information. They were able to give him information that not even I remembered.
I have been unfair to him. I have made him feel bad about his feelings. I have only made things worse by being upset with him and invalidating him. He was also sleeping with someone else for about a week after we started, which has upset me (I know that is hypocritical).
He asked for some information about past relationships. I have a history of being immoral. Cheating. Pair that with the fact that I was dishonest with him from the beginning about sexual partners and the timeline of the breakup with my ex boyfriend, and he does not believe that I love him. He does not believe I’m capable of being a good person. He is now kicking me out and demanding a divorce, because our marriage was built on lies and he had no idea I was that kind of person. This has all unfolded in the last week.
I don’t know why I’m posting here. I guess I’m curious to know other people’s perspective on this matter. I thought it was something that could be resolved with couples therapy, but he feels so betrayed that he’s kicked me out and is divorcing me without trying therapy.