So.. my husband (36M) and me (34M) has been together for 8 years, married for 4. We have two small children (3yo and 5yo). We both work full time. The kids are so intense we both feel like we are burned out and kinda hate being home. My husband helps with cleaning and stuff and is mostly very cool dad, but about 80% of cleaning and 95% of cooking is still on me. Also all the mental load, food shopping, everything is on me. My husband gets to go to gym 3-5 times a week to get away from the kids, and he still keeps constantly saying how tired he is of everything.
We don't have any romance or couple stuff going on except having sex once is a month or so.
When we have an argument he is always really egoistic and it always have to be his-way-or-the-wrong-way. He never apologizes. When he is mad, he let's it all out on me and kids and once he calms down he just goes on with this life and doesn't think about the fact that he actually hurt me. I've talked about with him it a lot, that it hurts me and I'd just like to discuss the issue and make up once he is calmer but he just gets angry again.
I think we haven't had a deep, meaningful conversation with each other for at least 5 years. I've always been the one who just have to take it in and keep going.
I'm so tired of it. I feel so alone. I have million different thoughts in my head and I find myself often feeling that it would be easier to be single mother than taking all the criticism and negativity all the time. I just don't know what to do or how to feel less alone.
Anyone else here who have gone through similar situations? What did you do?