My name is Brandin M27 and I’m just recently single and going through a lot of pain. My former partner F24 Mollie has decided that it’s all over. Just like that. We were friends and partners for a year. No arguments no nothing. At the start of it all it seemed like a seamless fit. We were clicking on all cylinders. We took our time with everything and never rushed a thing. I wanted to make sure before anything sexual was done she was comfortable. Mind you we hadn’t had a single fight the entire year. Not one. Never even close. So this was a first for us yesterday. What I will say is that she’d been hurt before by her father and other guys before me. Guys kinda just shit on her and left. I wish that never happened to her to begin with. Anyway, only recently did she open up and communicate with me about a few problems she was having with me. Now she’s told me that communication isn’t her best trait. And boy was she spot on. Instead of talking to me about the things I’m gonna discuss. She just let it eat away at her and then eventually led to her not wanting to be with me. We talked on the phone yesterday for about an hour and it didn’t get anywhere. The only thing I learned is that she gave up on us and showed no fight. After everything we had been through she did show any sorta fight. Alls I learned were the things that pissed her off.
Reason 1: our first date was great in my eyes. We went to delmonicos and had yummy food. It was the part before that she wasn’t a fan of. I gave her three options. Delmonicos , Ruth B and then a random one i don’t even remember. Wasn’t in the discussion. At first she chose Ruth Bs. I was okay with at first. It sounds delicious and would’ve been a great time. Only I didn’t look at the menu just yet cause I was working. Well I looked at it and it was incredibly expensive. Extremely. Mind you this was all decided within a day. So instead I changed it to delmonicos 3-4 hours beforehand and she was pissed about that. I told her why and it still apparently didn’t matter. I let her know that I pay with tip money. I’ve had other relationships where I paid for everything. Literally. So this time I wanted to limit myself. I told her the situation and also told her that for a first date maybe it isn’t the best idea to go all in. Most of the time I go all in and end up spending 200 plus and then they leave. I’m made her aware of this all. But that was reason number one.
Reason 2: I was acting weird for 3 weeks. This was very recent and she was very aware that I was very sick and had the flu for 18 plus days. Still recovering actually. A week before I got sick I drove her back from a restaurant that she went out to with a friend. It was a Mexican restaurant and I don’t remember the name. Alls I remember was putting an address in and then going to it. Well I was given the task to pick a New Year’s Eve date while I was bed ridden and migraines were coming in left and right. So when I went to choose one I accede tally chose the Mexican place. She was unhappy that I did that. She was starting to question whether or not I even was paying attention anymore.
Reason 3: so I’ll start with she’s a big Christmas person. Whole family is actually. And she told me she likes cute wrapping and having it all nice. Well I tried and it looked awful. So before new years I decided to have my mother redo them all for me. So on our way to the start of our New Year’s Eve day she was annoyed that we had to go and pick them up at my house. Which was actually on the way.
Reason 4: so for New Year’s Eve I chose a random place to eat. At first it looked good it had great reviews and was digging it a little. But then I sent it to her and then later she replied that she didn’t know anything on that menu. So immediately I change it to innovos kitchen instead and instead of telling her I thought telling her two days before hand that we are going somewhere better for the both of us. Apparently she was not happy with that. And I’ll give it to her to at work has been kicking her ass because of a dummy she works with but I just feel like getting mad over that is kinda wild.
Reason 5: on New Year’s Eve after food was chosen and plans were set let her decided whether or not she wants to hangout. Matter about an hour of talking she decided that we should do it and full send it. Well we did. I had to shower and get ready and then go pick her up. The only problem was the schedule I had in plan started at 1130. And again I needed to shower and get things ready. That’s when I decided that my presents need some fixing. So we went to go see avatar at 1230. We were about 6 mins late but luckily movies don’t start that soon anyway. Well if you know avatar that’s a long movie. 3 plus hours lol. My plan was to go ice skating at 4 being that we went at the original time. Sadly we got there later and I couldn’t rent any skates. Which sucks because she brought hers and I felt flipping awful. I wanted to break down because I felt like shit. This was supposed to be a day about us. So we left the rink and went to dinner a half hour early. Luckily they let us in early and the rest is history. Very good spot to go to. We loved the food.
Reason 6: her biggest reason was that I never opened up to her. Which isn’t true. She had asked me what do I like to do on my free time. I’m a simple man. It’s video games, sports, adventures and working out. That’s the answer I gave her. She had already known a fair amount about all of those things. But she didn’t know about videos games. So he had asked me about what I like to play. And before I answered I was mesmerized. No one has actually given a fuck about me even on this level. I thought to myself “is this true? Does she actually care about this sorta stuff?” I also thought “she can’t be real”. In that moment I took my time answering because I was starstruck. Eventually I gave her an answer but it wasn’t fast enough. As I learned yesterday. Another thing with it is that she never really asked about my family and was upset that I didn’t tell her everything that had happened to me. From getting spit on as a kid to being thrown outta the house and left in the snow for hours. From the constant beatings I’d take. It’s all very dark stuff to me. Stuff that I’ve told two people before and they both used it against me. It took awhile to put those pieces back together because I was terrified. I told her all of this as well. I told her some of the stories I only remember what happened to me at the end of them. I’ve blocked the entire stories out because they scared me and bring me down a fake hole. I also felt that if I told her all the real stories about me and what’s happened to me that she’d never see me the same and she wouldn’t be able to love me. It’s happened. Never has it gone my way.
As of yesterday she decided to give up on everything. Didn’t show an ounce of fight after a year. She said that her fight of getting to know me was when she’s asked me about what my fav games were. And when I took a bit to answer she thought I was ignoring her or not giving it to her straight when in reality I was overthinking. I ask you guys what is it that I could’ve done better? How do I even go about woman anymore? Am I an idiot for not trusting someone with all of me? I need answers. The only once’s I’ve gotten are from friends and they all basically said that she just got bored and didn’t wanna be in a relationship with me. But then in her long morning message she told me for a couple of those reasons that she didn’t care about where we went. She just wanted to be with me. So this makes me think all sorts of stuff and my head is spinning. She’s decided to not talk to me at all when I’ve asked her for simple answers. But let’s not rip into her or anything like that. I still love her and wish nothing but the best for her I’m just at a loss with what just happened. How could I have ruined something so good and so beautiful so easily? If you made it this far. Thank you