I’m 21 years old and I’m going through a difficult period in my relationship. My girlfriend and I have known each other for about 9 months, and from the beginning we’ve always had great chemistry. Our love is still strong even after the initial “honeymoon phase.”
The issue started more recently because of distance. We’re both in college, and whenever there are holidays or academic breaks, she goes back to her hometown. During the mid-year break, she stayed there for a month, which affected me a lot. I missed her deeply, but I managed better once she returned.
Now we’re in the end-of-year break, which is much longer (around three months). Only one month has passed, and I already feel completely emotionally drained. At the end of the year, she came to my city for a short time, and then I went to hers. However, that time together wasn’t what I hoped for, because we were almost always around her family. I was very focused on making a good impression, and I didn’t really get to spend meaningful one-on-one time with her.
I’ve recently returned to my city, and there are still two months left in this break. On top of that, I’m starting a job now, which will make it much harder for me to travel to see her like I used to. Looking long-term, she still has about two to three years left before graduating, and that makes me feel like this situation doesn’t have a clear perspective of improvement.
This has been wearing me down a lot, especially because I’m someone who values physical closeness very strongly. The distance makes me sad and emotionally exhausted, and I feel it affecting our relationship. I become more distant during texting, even though I don’t want to. We often talk on video or phone calls late into the night, but it doesn’t really compensate for the lack of physical presence.
I’ve talked to her openly about how this makes me feel, and I genuinely try my best to make the relationship work despite these difficulties. So far, the only solution we’ve been able to think of is for me to visit her occasionally. The distance isn’t extremely long (about a 3.5-hour drive), but the route involves a dangerous highway, which also adds stress.
I’m trying to understand whether this level of emotional distress is normal in long-distance relationships at this stage of life, or if this points to a deeper incompatibility. Has anyone been through something similar? Is this something that can be worked through emotionally, or is it a sign that the relationship may not be sustainable long-term?