About three months ago, my husband and I talked about taking out a home equity loan to remodel our home. We needed a new HVAC system, the trim around the house replaced, and I wanted to use some of the money to pay off my car, which had an $18k balance. Fast forward, he no longer wants to spend money on fixing the house because he thinks we should buy rental properties instead. He also refuses to help pay off my car unless I quit my job, which feels manipulative. When I said it was my money too and I should be able to use our joint account to pay my car off, he claimed it’s his money because he pays the mortgage. For the past two months, he’s been laid off, though he had his own savings and has been covering bills while I’ve helped with smaller ones. I have my own large expenses, which is why I don’t contribute to the mortgage. Since being laid off, he’s been using my credit card and has racked up over $5k, promising to pay it off once he’s working again, even though we have $100k in savings from the home equity loan. Recently, he decided to spend $10k on two vehicles to fix his project trucks sitting in our yard, instead of using the money to pay down the credit card in my name or my car as we had originally discussed. I feel so let down and he does not care. He just gets up and purchases whatever he wants without discussing it with me making me feel like we are not a team. Am I overreacting, or are my feelings valid?
I would quit my job in a heartbeat, but when he gets mad, he starts saying the house is his and that I need to leave, even though we acquired the home together after we got married. He makes me feel like I'm just a burden.