We’ve been together 3 years, we’re best friends, my life has improved since I’ve been with him, he’s so supportive, we’re so aligned in so many ways, great match
But… since the beginning the issue is that I have a higher sex drive. His libido has lowered in the last 5 years, sex isn’t a huge deal to him, he’d be happy with once a week or every other week. I’d love every day or twice a day even. He says I’m the most sexual woman he’s ever met. I feel undesirable since he doesn’t have that ‘forward energy’ towards me… I love testosterone fuelled desire in men, that they can’t help themselves. I want sex to feel like an uncontrollable force of nature. I don’t think this will change in him. My sexuality has already tamed down since our relationship, I used to have orgasm addiction, 4-8 a day. The thing is he’s had a loooot of sexual experience in his younger years. I was just getting started in sexual confidence and expression.
I’m worried I’ll sabotage a good long term relationship for ideas of sexual fulfillment. It’s the only conflict we’ve ever had come up between us in 3 years, literally nothing else has been wrong. We love each other very much.
You might suggest he helps me self pleasure in between sessions, but I only want pleasure if I genuinely feel that the person WANTS to. It’s not hot otherwise.
4 comments
It’s not gonna work. You know it. Sorry. Be friends. That’s what you are good at
Relationships are a compromise. Infatuation fades. Lean into other stuff if you value your connection. It never ceases to amaze me how easily Redditors are to dismiss wonderful relationships with a single material issue as bound to fail and no longer worth nurturing. It’s hard as fuck to meet someone really good. Lean into the person who gets like 94/100. Drop the one who’s barely passing.
I’d say try other forms of intimacy and masterbation and pray that works. If it doesn’t, situations like these may not work out. He is also 13 years older than you… Best friend?
Testosterone treatment would change that