Me, 27/F recently made it official with 36/M.
We’ve been seeing each-other for 3 months. He asked to be exclusive two months in. Hes never made a phone call to me, never has said good night- doesn’t text at night-never has given a gesture of thoughtfulness not one- besides picking up the check at a few dinners.
He answers when I text him but I do best when I match energy- so I lay low and observe.
I’ve been to his house multiple times and vice versa. But we see each other max twice a week.
He’s very singular- has never mentioned introducing me to any friends or family- doesn’t invite me to do hobbies or join his daily activities.
He did not get me anything for Christmas (said he doesn’t do well buying gifts), spent new years with his brother (me, alone), and mentioned wanting to do a few day experiences with me but never has followed up.
We have good chemistry and get along well… it just feels… well absent. When I’m with him it’s great.
Last week I told him I didn’t think I was his person and that maybe we don’t see eachother anymore but he cried and said he felt soulmate energy and held me so tight. I told him people don’t change and he responded but they can become better versions of themselves. A week in… nothing has changed.
Thoughts and opinions? Avoidant personality? Possibly seeing other people? Clueless?
Background on him: he’s retiring from the military currently and served active duty during his time… not sure if this could contribute to the dynamic?