ve been dating my boyfriend (M32) for 6 months. He is genuinely sweet, caring, and thoughtful — honestly the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in.
For context, I’ve been cheated on and was previously in an abusive relationship, so I do have trust issues. I made a conscious effort not to bring that baggage into this relationship and tried to be as trusting as possible.
My boyfriend has a girl best friend. I won’t lie, I was never fully comfortable with it, but I told myself it was my past insecurities talking. They spend a lot of time together: running together, hanging out just the two of them, either at his place or at her parents’ house (she lives with them).
She’s been dealing with depression, and I thought he was just trying to be there for her. She was always very sweet and thoughtful toward me, which helped put me at ease. Her parents even invited me over for dinner at one point.
Last week, her boyfriend broke up with her, and I genuinely felt bad for her because she’s been going through a lot. I tried to be supportive and welcoming. Tonight, we invited her over for dinner and a movie. It got pretty late, and she had to walk home. She was a bit worried, so my boyfriend offered to walk her back. Situations like that always make me feel a little uneasy, but I didn’t say anything.
When he came back, he noticed something was off with me and tried to reassure me and encouraged me to communicate. So I asked him, pretty innocently, if anything had ever happened between him and his best friend. I truly expected the answer to be no. He said yes.
My heart honestly shattered. I felt so deeply betrayed. He told me they dated about 2.5 years ago for one month and decided they were better as friends. I had absolutely no idea.
He immediately started begging me to forgive him, saying there’s nothing between them now and that I’m the one who matters most to him. He said he didn’t want to lose either of us and that he’d wanted to tell me for a long time but was scared of my reaction.
I feel so stupid and hurt. I trusted him completely, and now I don’t know what to think. This has been the best relationship I’ve ever been in, but I don’t know if I can trust him anymore.
I’m torn between trying to work through this or walking away and both options break my heart. I don't know if i shoud keep going with this ?
TL;DR: Found out my boyfriend’s girl best friend (who he spends a lot of time alone with) is actually his ex. He never told me. I feel betrayed and don’t know whether to stay or leave.