My 25 F bf 29 M is bringing up his ex quite a bit. We have been dating for only a week, but we have been talking and getting to know each other for 2 months. He’s amazing, kind, funny, etc. he’s all of the things!
However, he brings up his ex quite a bit. I told him talking about exes doesn’t bother me as it’s great that you had great experiences with people from the past, but he goes into too much detail. I told him that this bothered me and he apologized and said he wouldn’t.
Fast forward, we are texting and he mentions she’s a surgeon, a virgin, and apparently has a great ass. I know this because I was messing around and joking like who else’s ass have you called fat besides mine, rhetorically, and he answered honestly and said her. I was baffled because I was clearly joking and sending memes, not really asking and he said, “I never have. Jk I have. Months ago, it was my ex”. I got upset and was like…bruh I really didn’t need to know that specific detail, I was just kidding. I was upset because it’s a specific detail I don’t need to know, but also I had already communicated not wanting to talk about exes anymore since it would come up quite frequently.
Before this, she texted him for thanksgiving and that they chatted a bit, but we weren’t talking seriously at that point, but he told me about it. She then texts him on on New Year’s Eve (we are official at this point) and invites him and his sister for a New Year’s party. He told me he didn’t reply, but I can’t help but feel…weirded out.
I then had a dream he cheated on me and now I’m just freaking out. It’s only been a week that we have been official. I mentioned maybe we are moving too fast and he keeps insisting I’m trying to find a way out of our relationship and I’m genuinely not. However, I’m just hurt. This is way too new to be going through all of this.
How does this situation come off to you?
1 comment
If you’ve only been dating a week and only known each other 2 months, you should be in the honeymoon period. If issues of disrespect (because that is what this is) are already popping up, what’s in store later down the line as more opportunities for conflict arise? Set the boundary, and uphold it. Tell him you feel uncomfortable when he brings up his ex so casually and frequently. Expect respect and maintain your standards.