I’m the higher-libido partner in my relationship and I’m genuinely trying to understand my lower-libido partner better.
For those of you who identify as LL: when you do have sex or have in the past (and you want to – not just doing it out of obligation), is it something you enjoy once you’re in it, or does it mostly feel neutral / like something you’re doing for your partner?
Related question: do you still masturbate, or does low libido usually apply across the board?
I ask because I’d much rather have sex less often if it means my partner is actually enjoying it. If sex is rarely or never enjoyable for them, I want to rethink how I approach this altogether rather than pushing for something that feels bad or obligatory.
Thanks for any perspectives—I’m here to learn, not argue.
EDIT: Thanks everyone for your perspectives and comments – so nice that everyone was so respectful and kind! I found it interesting that most people assumed I am a man when I’m actually a woman. I had tried to make the post gender neutral to get all different views.