What do you say when you are ever in a situation of being sexually harassed?
January 5, 2026
What do you do?
38 comments
The first time, I was 6 and it escalated and no one believed me. The second time, I was 13 and too scared to tell anyone and let it go on because nothing would have been done.
The third time, I was r*ped also- i spoke up for myself, and then somehow I had a restraining order taken out on me.
I was all under 16 when this happened. The last time, I told my school and they switched two of my classes with the perpetrator but that was all they could do. I told them I felt extremely uneasy and scared- and that I couldn’t be around him anymore as I have always been uncomfortable and then the r*pe happened.
I’m not sure what I truly tried to say the last time I was harassed. It escalated regardless and I had to attend a lot of therapy. I was scared of men (im so sorry guys) for so long. I am not not as scared- but it’s hard for me to go anywhere without my fiancé. I do believe there are good and great men- but I was dealt with some really crappy cards.
I’m hoping to see some tougher women on here, with more confidence and stubbornness to be able to stand up for themselves better than I had. 💛
guy at work was harassing the women (didnt find out until it happened to me) – I was beside him talking to someone when he decided it was ok to run his hand up my leg wtf. I stopped talking, turned around and deadass looked him in the eye and said “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” I guess he never had anyone confront him like that before because the look on his face was absolute shock and he profusely apologized. I reported him to HR because fuck that shit. If it was brave enough to do that to me, that meant he had been doing that shit for a long time and getting away with it.
I push their hand(s) away, I get in their face and I very firmly tell them they are not allowed to touch me like that. Then I walk away.
I clearly express my discomfort so there’s no room for any plausible deniability on their end. I get louder and louder so others can hear if I’m not respected immediately.
In the street?
Head down and keep walking, if they follow you then walk into the first open business that you come across, if they follow you into the business or wait outside, call a friend/taxi.
Being polite can encourage them, confronting them can escalate to violence. The best thing to say for your own safety, is nothing.
It depends on the scenario but the priority is not to make it worse for myself. In an ideal world we could always speak up but that’s not how it works in reality.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Mostly, nothing, I’m ashamed to say.
If they touch me, I’m loud. I make it a scene. Too much media shows girls trying to stop it discretely then giving in to it … so much that some people watching it think that’s perfectly okay and how it should happen, thus trying to not cause a scene makes it worse. My experiences proved that I need to be loud and clear about my discomfort for them to back off.
If it is words from a stranger, I don’t react. They expect polite or angry, but nothing makes the whole cat calling absolutely boring to them.
If the words are from a friend, family, coworker, or partner then I’m calm, stern, almost cold in my reply. Make them feel ashamed for it and distance myself physically and mentally from them after that.
Get loud and call as much attention to the situation as possible. No more staying quiet and letting them get away with it.
I beat the shit out of them 😭 not really proud of myself tho. I once slapped the head of a bald guy from behind and didn’t realize that while doing so the metal part of my watch had slid down till my palm and it made a loud thud when it struck him. man that must have hurt like hell .
Harassment for me was at work. This dude, an attending started to dictate what I should wear and what not. And began to make coy statements to other residents(male) in our and other departments that they shouldn’t let me carpool with them or assist me with cases.
My fuse blew one day and I went to the Dean. He shut up for a year after that.
Then it happened again. This time, I had a miscarriage (wanted to keep it private) and so had a valid reason to take a break from work–he insisted on knowing where I was and why I was being late to work, made others call me and harass me to get back soon, daily for a week. (there was no academic work pending or patients to be attended to)
My other attending got back after a holiday and I confided this in him with tears. We had a departmental meeting right afterwards for which I told him quite sharply that if he were to pursue this further, I have definite medical reasons for taking rest and he is going to be in big trouble for the harassment, should I release everything. He’s backed off ever since. But being the fox that he is, I have a feeling he’s just waiting for an opportunity. Some men never learn.
[removed]
“Do you do this to men too or are you into harassing just women?” Make sure you’re loud and be ready to get physical especially if you know you’re going to be around someone with those shitty behaviors.
I was working as a server many years ago at a pretty
Big restaurant. Was trying to get my work done so I could go home and part of it was rolling silverware. Standing there minding my own business and I suddenly feel a hand on my butt. I froze, didn’t know what to do as a co worker who I considered a friend grabbed my butt and whispered something sick in my ear. He then walked away and I walked straight to the office to tell my boss. The GM was in there and when I told him he said “and what did you say to him? Did you tell him not to do that to you” I said well no I froze and was very uncomfortable. So he proceeded to make me feel like it was my fault it had happened. They did end up sending the guy home because he was drunk. He did get to keep his job though. I didn’t receive an apology from anyone especially the GM after he made me feel like it was my fault for not telling a grown man it’s not to grab a handful of my butt and talk dirty to me at work.
I’ve only really been sexually harassed online. That probably doesn’t really count lmao
My boss, the owner of the car dealership that I was a service writer at, called me 42f, into his office and said to close the door and sit down. He then proceeded to stand up behind his desk, unzip his pants and tuck his shirt into his tighty whiteys! I asked him if he had a second act, because I definitely wasn’t interested in the first one. Got up, walked to the door, and told him to shove his job up his disgusting fat ass! I quit!
I had an ex-boss who decided it was appropriate to make a direct reference to my chest in a public setting. I ended up launching into a spontaneous composition of four-letter beat poetry that would melt my device if I tried to type it out.
One of my (male) coworkers reported him to our grandboss, who promptly fired him. Jokes on him, I got promoted to take his job!
[removed]
I had a much older guy at work accidentally send me a text message not meant for me, but about me that said “(my name) is 24 and single and has a tight as in those tight jeans, I’d tap that ass”. He drove up to me minutes after I read it and said “hey how’s it going!!” I said, “not very good, I just got a really weird fucking text” and his face dropped and he said “Ohhh I sent that to you?! I’ll delete that right now” I was like “go ahead but I’ll still have it” then I think realizing he was in trouble he started apologizing and I said “it is not okay”. When I got back to the office the next day I told my manager and he got fired from the job
loudly call them out on it if in a large crowd. worked at a twin peaks type place and resorted to this and just straight up slapping them(most cops just laugh in men’s faces over a slap, but not a punch, from a woman btw) but if you wanna touch me inappropriately then ima touch you inappropriately back🤷♀️
Are there other people around? Be loud, threaten to call the police. There is no one around? Play along and then make a dash.
Some man I didn’t know and I were the only two people at a laundromat. He wanted to talk. He asked me a couple of questions; I gave one word answers and turned back to my book. He reached out and grabbed my breast, to get my attention? I ran to my friend’s house nearby.
We went back to the laundromat. Now that my friend (also a woman) had my back, it felt safer to respond. “Did it make you feel like a man to grab my breast? Did it make you feel big and tough? Were you too stupid to recognize that I was uninterested in talking to you?” This time, he ran out of the laundromat.
It felt good. However, this was almost 40 years ago, so he was less likely to be carrying a gun. He wasn’t very big, certainly smaller than the two of us together, and didn’t look particularly fit. Both me and my friend were pretty strong then. It would be less likely to happen today, since old women tend to be invisible. I don’t know what I would do today.
scream, honestly.
I got SA’d and sexually harassed at my last job. He threatened to have me fired if I said anything. I was new and didn’t want to lose my job. He was also 6’4” while I’m 5’1” which made it easy for him to corner me and pin me in a spot where cameras couldn’t capture. He would follow me around in the warehouse and office building. He would complain to my supervisors that I wasn’t spending enough time with him which is a weird thing to complain about. He would get me in trouble with one of these supervisors specifically so that she would force me away from my desk (away from witnesses) so he could catch me alone. It came to a point where I would hide in the girl’s bathroom on my breaks or ask male coworkers to walk with me in the warehouse so that I wouldn’t be alone.
Finally I ran to one of my male supervisors (and friend) and told him everything that happened because I was getting more and more scared. Me telling that guy “no”, “stop it,” and “f off” did nothing but aggravate the situation.
My supervisor who to this day is my best friend by the way, started to become aware of how bad the situation was and would try his best to either walk with me when I had to go outside of the office or would make sure that guy didn’t enter the office room.
There wasn’t much anyone could do because I worked with a contracted company and that guy worked with the main company that hired the contracted company. So he had a union and I didn’t and my supervisor wasn’t his supervisor. We did report to his supervisor but they didn’t do anything. Not until he made a massive f up in his job, then they moved him somewhere else. Sadly though he was never fired.
I’ve learned since then that I need to speak up and speak louder when something like that happens. Hopefully it’ll never happen again but wolves are wolves…🙄
Depends on the situation. I’ve found I’m very much a freeze type person, so I’ve been actively working on trying to be as loud and vocal and assholish in return to try to fight that natural freeze response
I didn’t say anything in junior high but I should have. 🫤 I just wasn’t brave enough back then.
If I’m not being touched, nothing. 🙁
I haven’t voice trained and if the guy rubbing his pants while staring at me out in public (actual example) doesn’t know I’m trans speaking may trigger a very unsafe reaction.
Depends on the situation, but I’ve punched men for trying to grope me before.
Some guy fuckin tried to touch me outside of a Wawa and I kicked him in the nuts with steel toe boots on in front of a truck full of his friends. Grabbed him by the shirt and told him if I ever caught him in my town again (out of state tags and accent) I’d gut him like a trout and make him wish he was never born (which if you didn’t know is from the asshole up, he certainly knew what I meant) mind you I was 17 in ugly unflattering clothes and a huge coat
I’m nice at first (too nice even—working on it) and then back off and put distance between us. If they still don’t take the hint I tell them to just leave me alone. It happened at a club a week ago— this man wouldn’t leave me alone even after I told him to. I told my friends and stuck to them.
It depends. If I am in public and I am being followed, I don’t say anything, I just duck into the nearest store and tell the clerk. Anyone at work is going to hear a mouthful though.
I experience this often if I’m at bars or on the bus, but I have 0 response. The silence does make them act more aggressive, which then gives me the green light to put my hands on them if they do. 🙂 I carry safety tools on me, take one out and start fidgeting with it and know self defense. They back off when they know i’m serious. I also help if other women are going through it.
I do remember being assaulted/groped after a date with a guy, he somehow got me to come back to his apartment to “grab something” and had me come with. We drove separately, and he didn’t realize I had a pair of scissors in my jacket pocket. I drove for Uber and had these near me just in case during rides. He got me in the elevator, groped, I got him off of me and the anger was so bad for me that when I got into his apartment, I started spinning the scissors around and talking about guns (im a gun girly) with a huge smile on my face, and i asked him if he’s ever shot one before. He said no, and that whole thing scared him. He let me leave after. Blocked me and never talked to me again.
He was outed as a predator a few years later.
“I remember my first beer too.” I make fun of them.
“What the fuck did you just you say?” As I square up to ol fella.
I started hitting him as soon as he touched my thigh.
Back off or regret it.
Now Im not a woman but if that happened to me I’d start swinging straight up. Saying no doesnt work if they rlly after u. Hit them in the nose in public and RUN, they probably wont chase you or they’d actually look like a rapist or some shit if theres ppl around.
38 comments
The first time, I was 6 and it escalated and no one believed me. The second time, I was 13 and too scared to tell anyone and let it go on because nothing would have been done.
The third time, I was r*ped also- i spoke up for myself, and then somehow I had a restraining order taken out on me.
I was all under 16 when this happened. The last time, I told my school and they switched two of my classes with the perpetrator but that was all they could do. I told them I felt extremely uneasy and scared- and that I couldn’t be around him anymore as I have always been uncomfortable and then the r*pe happened.
I’m not sure what I truly tried to say the last time I was harassed. It escalated regardless and I had to attend a lot of therapy. I was scared of men (im so sorry guys) for so long. I am not not as scared- but it’s hard for me to go anywhere without my fiancé. I do believe there are good and great men- but I was dealt with some really crappy cards.
I’m hoping to see some tougher women on here, with more confidence and stubbornness to be able to stand up for themselves better than I had. 💛
guy at work was harassing the women (didnt find out until it happened to me) – I was beside him talking to someone when he decided it was ok to run his hand up my leg wtf. I stopped talking, turned around and deadass looked him in the eye and said “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” I guess he never had anyone confront him like that before because the look on his face was absolute shock and he profusely apologized. I reported him to HR because fuck that shit. If it was brave enough to do that to me, that meant he had been doing that shit for a long time and getting away with it.
I push their hand(s) away, I get in their face and I very firmly tell them they are not allowed to touch me like that. Then I walk away.
I clearly express my discomfort so there’s no room for any plausible deniability on their end. I get louder and louder so others can hear if I’m not respected immediately.
In the street?
Head down and keep walking, if they follow you then walk into the first open business that you come across, if they follow you into the business or wait outside, call a friend/taxi.
Being polite can encourage them, confronting them can escalate to violence. The best thing to say for your own safety, is nothing.
It depends on the scenario but the priority is not to make it worse for myself. In an ideal world we could always speak up but that’s not how it works in reality.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Mostly, nothing, I’m ashamed to say.
If they touch me, I’m loud. I make it a scene. Too much media shows girls trying to stop it discretely then giving in to it … so much that some people watching it think that’s perfectly okay and how it should happen, thus trying to not cause a scene makes it worse. My experiences proved that I need to be loud and clear about my discomfort for them to back off.
If it is words from a stranger, I don’t react. They expect polite or angry, but nothing makes the whole cat calling absolutely boring to them.
If the words are from a friend, family, coworker, or partner then I’m calm, stern, almost cold in my reply. Make them feel ashamed for it and distance myself physically and mentally from them after that.
Get loud and call as much attention to the situation as possible. No more staying quiet and letting them get away with it.
I beat the shit out of them 😭 not really proud of myself tho. I once slapped the head of a bald guy from behind and didn’t realize that while doing so the metal part of my watch had slid down till my palm and it made a loud thud when it struck him. man that must have hurt like hell .
Harassment for me was at work. This dude, an attending started to dictate what I should wear and what not. And began to make coy statements to other residents(male) in our and other departments that they shouldn’t let me carpool with them or assist me with cases.
My fuse blew one day and I went to the Dean. He shut up for a year after that.
Then it happened again. This time, I had a miscarriage (wanted to keep it private) and so had a valid reason to take a break from work–he insisted on knowing where I was and why I was being late to work, made others call me and harass me to get back soon, daily for a week. (there was no academic work pending or patients to be attended to)
My other attending got back after a holiday and I confided this in him with tears. We had a departmental meeting right afterwards for which I told him quite sharply that if he were to pursue this further, I have definite medical reasons for taking rest and he is going to be in big trouble for the harassment, should I release everything. He’s backed off ever since. But being the fox that he is, I have a feeling he’s just waiting for an opportunity. Some men never learn.
[removed]
“Do you do this to men too or are you into harassing just women?” Make sure you’re loud and be ready to get physical especially if you know you’re going to be around someone with those shitty behaviors.
I was working as a server many years ago at a pretty
Big restaurant. Was trying to get my work done so I could go home and part of it was rolling silverware. Standing there minding my own business and I suddenly feel a hand on my butt. I froze, didn’t know what to do as a co worker who I considered a friend grabbed my butt and whispered something sick in my ear. He then walked away and I walked straight to the office to tell my boss. The GM was in there and when I told him he said “and what did you say to him? Did you tell him not to do that to you” I said well no I froze and was very uncomfortable. So he proceeded to make me feel like it was my fault it had happened. They did end up sending the guy home because he was drunk. He did get to keep his job though. I didn’t receive an apology from anyone especially the GM after he made me feel like it was my fault for not telling a grown man it’s not to grab a handful of my butt and talk dirty to me at work.
I’ve only really been sexually harassed online. That probably doesn’t really count lmao
My boss, the owner of the car dealership that I was a service writer at, called me 42f, into his office and said to close the door and sit down. He then proceeded to stand up behind his desk, unzip his pants and tuck his shirt into his tighty whiteys! I asked him if he had a second act, because I definitely wasn’t interested in the first one. Got up, walked to the door, and told him to shove his job up his disgusting fat ass! I quit!
I had an ex-boss who decided it was appropriate to make a direct reference to my chest in a public setting. I ended up launching into a spontaneous composition of four-letter beat poetry that would melt my device if I tried to type it out.
One of my (male) coworkers reported him to our grandboss, who promptly fired him. Jokes on him, I got promoted to take his job!
[removed]
I had a much older guy at work accidentally send me a text message not meant for me, but about me that said “(my name) is 24 and single and has a tight as in those tight jeans, I’d tap that ass”. He drove up to me minutes after I read it and said “hey how’s it going!!” I said, “not very good, I just got a really weird fucking text” and his face dropped and he said “Ohhh I sent that to you?! I’ll delete that right now” I was like “go ahead but I’ll still have it” then I think realizing he was in trouble he started apologizing and I said “it is not okay”. When I got back to the office the next day I told my manager and he got fired from the job
loudly call them out on it if in a large crowd. worked at a twin peaks type place and resorted to this and just straight up slapping them(most cops just laugh in men’s faces over a slap, but not a punch, from a woman btw) but if you wanna touch me inappropriately then ima touch you inappropriately back🤷♀️
Are there other people around? Be loud, threaten to call the police. There is no one around? Play along and then make a dash.
Some man I didn’t know and I were the only two people at a laundromat. He wanted to talk. He asked me a couple of questions; I gave one word answers and turned back to my book. He reached out and grabbed my breast, to get my attention? I ran to my friend’s house nearby.
We went back to the laundromat. Now that my friend (also a woman) had my back, it felt safer to respond. “Did it make you feel like a man to grab my breast? Did it make you feel big and tough? Were you too stupid to recognize that I was uninterested in talking to you?” This time, he ran out of the laundromat.
It felt good. However, this was almost 40 years ago, so he was less likely to be carrying a gun. He wasn’t very big, certainly smaller than the two of us together, and didn’t look particularly fit. Both me and my friend were pretty strong then. It would be less likely to happen today, since old women tend to be invisible. I don’t know what I would do today.
scream, honestly.
I got SA’d and sexually harassed at my last job. He threatened to have me fired if I said anything. I was new and didn’t want to lose my job. He was also 6’4” while I’m 5’1” which made it easy for him to corner me and pin me in a spot where cameras couldn’t capture. He would follow me around in the warehouse and office building. He would complain to my supervisors that I wasn’t spending enough time with him which is a weird thing to complain about. He would get me in trouble with one of these supervisors specifically so that she would force me away from my desk (away from witnesses) so he could catch me alone. It came to a point where I would hide in the girl’s bathroom on my breaks or ask male coworkers to walk with me in the warehouse so that I wouldn’t be alone.
Finally I ran to one of my male supervisors (and friend) and told him everything that happened because I was getting more and more scared. Me telling that guy “no”, “stop it,” and “f off” did nothing but aggravate the situation.
My supervisor who to this day is my best friend by the way, started to become aware of how bad the situation was and would try his best to either walk with me when I had to go outside of the office or would make sure that guy didn’t enter the office room.
There wasn’t much anyone could do because I worked with a contracted company and that guy worked with the main company that hired the contracted company. So he had a union and I didn’t and my supervisor wasn’t his supervisor. We did report to his supervisor but they didn’t do anything. Not until he made a massive f up in his job, then they moved him somewhere else. Sadly though he was never fired.
I’ve learned since then that I need to speak up and speak louder when something like that happens. Hopefully it’ll never happen again but wolves are wolves…🙄
Depends on the situation. I’ve found I’m very much a freeze type person, so I’ve been actively working on trying to be as loud and vocal and assholish in return to try to fight that natural freeze response
I didn’t say anything in junior high but I should have. 🫤 I just wasn’t brave enough back then.
If I’m not being touched, nothing. 🙁
I haven’t voice trained and if the guy rubbing his pants while staring at me out in public (actual example) doesn’t know I’m trans speaking may trigger a very unsafe reaction.
Depends on the situation, but I’ve punched men for trying to grope me before.
Some guy fuckin tried to touch me outside of a Wawa and I kicked him in the nuts with steel toe boots on in front of a truck full of his friends. Grabbed him by the shirt and told him if I ever caught him in my town again (out of state tags and accent) I’d gut him like a trout and make him wish he was never born (which if you didn’t know is from the asshole up, he certainly knew what I meant) mind you I was 17 in ugly unflattering clothes and a huge coat
I’m nice at first (too nice even—working on it) and then back off and put distance between us. If they still don’t take the hint I tell them to just leave me alone. It happened at a club a week ago— this man wouldn’t leave me alone even after I told him to. I told my friends and stuck to them.
It depends. If I am in public and I am being followed, I don’t say anything, I just duck into the nearest store and tell the clerk. Anyone at work is going to hear a mouthful though.
I experience this often if I’m at bars or on the bus, but I have 0 response. The silence does make them act more aggressive, which then gives me the green light to put my hands on them if they do. 🙂 I carry safety tools on me, take one out and start fidgeting with it and know self defense. They back off when they know i’m serious. I also help if other women are going through it.
I do remember being assaulted/groped after a date with a guy, he somehow got me to come back to his apartment to “grab something” and had me come with. We drove separately, and he didn’t realize I had a pair of scissors in my jacket pocket. I drove for Uber and had these near me just in case during rides. He got me in the elevator, groped, I got him off of me and the anger was so bad for me that when I got into his apartment, I started spinning the scissors around and talking about guns (im a gun girly) with a huge smile on my face, and i asked him if he’s ever shot one before. He said no, and that whole thing scared him. He let me leave after. Blocked me and never talked to me again.
He was outed as a predator a few years later.
“I remember my first beer too.” I make fun of them.
“What the fuck did you just you say?” As I square up to ol fella.
I started hitting him as soon as he touched my thigh.
Back off or regret it.
Now Im not a woman but if that happened to me I’d start swinging straight up. Saying no doesnt work if they rlly after u. Hit them in the nose in public and RUN, they probably wont chase you or they’d actually look like a rapist or some shit if theres ppl around.