Hi!
For context we live together and are currently purchasing a really old shabby house that will need heaps of work. We have been together for almost 3 years and living together for over a year now.
Now I work full time , but he, he works usually 6 but sometimes 7 days a week. 7:30am until 7pm.
He’s a very skilled and busy builder who has lots of work at the moment and a deadline to meet before we get the keys to our new house and start the work there.
For example this week was 7 days , although he promised to take today off, he said that he had to go back to site and close the windows which were left open overnight as the flooring wad drying.
My main issue is that when he is home, he spends hours speaking to cousins, friends , his sister, parents.
And barely speak to me, and when he does , it’s almost always about plans for the house.
Yesterday he started off by saying “babe you know what I really want to do…..”
I smiled and was expecting “ I want to watch a movie together “ or maybe “I want to have a shower together “ ( we haven’t done that before lol )
But no
He says “ I really want to make the extension 4 meters so we can have a bigger living room”
I understand he is under a lot of pressure and has so much going on, as he will be the one doing our refurb too.
But
Is it impossible to put his phone down for the evening ?
Is it impossible to plan for us to go for a walk to the park and get a coffee ?
I feel like his priorities are all over the place and I’m not one of them.
I’ve communicated to him and his response is that he provides more money to our relationship and is under pressure, and that apparently me doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry ON TOP of working full time, doesn’t mean anything.
TL;DR
My bf would rather be on the phone to friends and family than have a conversation with me, or rather scroll on TikTok. He also thinks that because he earns more, he brings more to the relationship.