English isn't my first language, so please forgive any mistakes.
I (21F) have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and we’ve been sexually active for over six months. We trust each other completely, our sex life is amazing, and we usually discuss any issues immediately.
However, recently I’ve been struggling with something. Whenever I get close to the peak of pleasure, I either ask my boyfriend to stop, or I pull away myself. The sensations become so intense that it feels like they are about to overwhelm me. I’ve never experienced this before, so the unknown scares me.
I am terrified that I might pee myself or that this "wave" of pleasure will swallow me whole, and I’ll lose total control and won’t be able to "come back." I tried looking it up online, but the advice was conflicting. Some sources suggested receiving oral sex to learn how to relax, but I rarely let him do it because I get too nervous and tense up (even though I love going down on him, and I don’t mind touching myself during sex – but even then, I stop when it feels too good).
My boyfriend really wants me to finish. On one hand, I’m happy with how things are now. But on the other hand, I wonder if I’m missing out on something important. Yet, I stop every time. I’ve even cried from fear because the feelings were so intense and vivid -I just wanted to run away from them.
Could you give me any advice on how to handle this fear and what to do in this situation?