I'm conflicted and need outside perspective because I don't trust my own judgment anymore.
Early in our relationship, I found out my girlfriend was still talking to her ex. That really hurt my trust. She stopped after we talked about it, and I decided to give the relationship another chance.
After that, I became very anxious and insecure. I'II admit I started becoming controlling, especially about her male friends. Her and her guy friends have made sexual jokes together, they repost videos about girls and intimacy that I find quite degenerate, and one of them calls and plays games with her one-on-one. I don't trust their intentions, and I feel like I can tell what kind of guy he is.
Because of my insecurity, I asked her to stop talking to her guy friends, and she did for a while.
Over time, though, she realized she was unhappy and felt isolated. She told me I was being too controlling, which I agree with. She's now started talking to them again.
One complication is that her best friend is also close with these same guys, and she's basically said that if my girlfriend doesn't stay friends with one of them, she won't be friends with the group at all. So my girlfriend feels stuck socially. She's told me that she's not gonna lose that best friend, So it's practically them or me. I've brought it up before, and again shes said that she's not gonna lose her best friend.
Now I feel constantly anxious, jealous, and insecure. I don't want to control her or tell her who she can be friends with, but I also don't feel okay in this situation and don't think I trust her or these guys anymore. Part of me feels like breaking up might be the healthiest option for both of us, but she is an amazing person, and very important to me, another part of me feels guilty because I know I played a role in how bad things got. We've solved many problems healthily in the past, and we're both very important to eachother, but I'm just not sure what to do.
How do I approach this? I just want some outside input.