I (32f) met someone (31m) recently on hinge and because I had basically given up on finding anything real with a man, I went in with no expectations other than to have fun and be spontaneous on the day.
We met, conversation was great, chemistry was high and we slept together within a couple hours of meeting in the middle of the day. And I was fine with it thinking well that was an enjoyable hookup.
Then he invited me back that same night, i slept over, more sex. Woke up in the morning, more sex. Then we went to breakfast and that was nice. Then I saw him again the next day and I was hungover so we stayed in and… more sex.
The conversation has been great and I actually like him so much as a person and that’s what I really didn’t expect. I actually don’t think I’ve ever liked someone so much. And on our first night together he basically said something like “now that we’re dating” and I was like are we?? He was like yeah as if of course.
And I’ve brought up since is this just sex and he acts like I’m ridiculous and he’s already said he wants to go on real dates and I shouldn’t keep asking every time.
I’m so insecure now because if I thought I wanted something real with someone I wouldnt have slept with them so quickly. We’re not exclusive obviously.
I’m seeing him again tonight but we can’t do dinner because he works late for his job and said something like we’ll go for dinner on the weekend so it’s probably just gonna be more sex.
The sex part is not the issue. I have a very high drive and we are very compatible but I just stress because now I feel so attracted and bonded to him but really we’re still learning more about each other. And I’ve had a a lot of men previously treat me like a sex object.
Uggh ffs I do not know what to do. I can’t like withhold sex now until we learn more about each other and I don’t want to. But my insecurities are eating me alive.
TLDR: met someone, had lots of physical intimacy thinking that’s all it would be and now I really like him and I’m insecure that we’re not exclusive and whether or not he likes me for me or just the sex