My bf (32) abd I (24) have been living together for 4 months. This has been the most amazing 4 months of my life. He was the greenest flag, gentle, loving and caring. Noone would expect this man would do such a thing.
Well i know i shouldn’t have invaded his “privacy “. But today i looked at his messages and apparently ‘he dreamt of his ex. An ex who is in an open marriage. He used to be her fling but they broke up coz they got along too well and couldn’t afford to be in a relationship while she’s married. Fast forward, they stayed ‘bestfriends’. And they message each other on a daily basis.
He managed to delete the message history but some of his messages included: (translated from dutch)
“
I miss you. I want to see you. Regardless of the kissing. But I also want * to kiss you. Because you're beautiful, and an excellent kisser. It's as far as kissing goes. If you don't feel like it, that's annoying. If you don't dare, that's understandable. But I'm not going to pretend it was a joke.
“
“ you’re my soulmate “ (coz apparently they like the same chocolate )
And a lot of other friendly banter
This is clearly turning into an emotional affair and I am quite confused if i should end the relationship or just put an end to an affair. Because dreams are something you can’t control but I don’t think the above are necessary.
Such a nice man, but my heart and trust is broken. Honestly quite scary how much we trust someone with our one precious life. We’ve been trying for children and planning to get married soon. The worst part is he came back home today completely loving as always, giving me lot of compliments and reassurances. (He does it everyday)
So confusing!!!
Sorry for the rant but i would really appreciate some advice as I’m quite emotional and can’t see things through.
I’m okay to start my life from scratch again but idk if i should let go of this ‘perfect’ relationship based on an emotional affair?
TLDR: Fianceè dreamt of his ex and extending into an emotional affair. Breakup or work things through?