Hey guys. I dated my girlfriend 2 years. 1 year we were friends. So overall 3 years of attachment because during friendship times we texted a lot. Now I am 19. It has been raw 2 years and we've got through all the stuff together. Always back to back. It happened a half year ago that I made a mistake and I screamed on her and cursed her. I was very angry because of the funerals of my family member. I then said sorry many times and actually changed myself. I stopped cursing her and she forgave me. We have always got though it somehow! It has never been more than 3-4 days that we didn't talk. The maximum was 4 days. Now though, she suddenly started to remember those moments a half year ago and started to tell me that she fears of being abused by me later if we create a family. That is not true. I have a pure heart and I always evolve to a better person, but she can't comprehend it. She always tells me she won't text back ever but she keeps texting in 2-3 days everytime! For a long time. She keeps on doing that. Now, 1 day ago, we had a major argument and she said she won't ever text again. 1 day and no contact at all. I start to fear. I don't want to lose a person who has been loyal and friendly to me. And supported. It is rare among teens. Do I keep hope? Are 2 days too short to judge?
The argument was very big and i told her then why do you text me if you don't love me? She said "I won't text you now" – i said "you keep on telling me that 4 months in a raw but still trying to find contact with me. I feel kinda guilty because this time i screamed on her. She was on my nerves. Idk what to do now, I can't apologise because she won't change at all and keep being a dick but i also don't want to lose her because she has been w me through all stuff.
1 comment
If your main reason for keeping close to someone is because of your history, then that sounds more like a trauma bond than a healthy bond. Her threatening not to text you is manipulative. Communication is important in a mature relationship. Change and growth is important too, which you seem to prioritize and that is good. Sometimes though, we can’t control how others perceive us even after we think we have made amends and if she genuinely feels bothered by things then that’s her deal to decide what to do. All you can do is be your best self for what you and she deserves, and she’s gotta do that too or else things won’t work. Maybe she doesn’t want things to work anymore and this is her excuse to not take the blame, idk, but regardless, all you can do is your best and remember to respect yourself if she can’t meet you in this relationship. You’re both young, and it’s okay to move on from people even if you’ve gone through a lot from them if that’s what ends up happening. Hopefully you two can take some time to talk this out though.