To start off, this is my first post on Reddit so sorry if I didn’t format right or anything.
For context, I (20F) have a niece (18F). (My sister and I are fifteen years apart). We’ll call her Bailey. Bailey has a boyfriend (20M) and they’ve been together for about two years I think. We’ll call the boyfriend Mike. Before Bailey got with Mike, she was with another boy who got her pregnant. This boy is no longer in the picture and has nothing to do with Bailey or her child.
When Bailey’s child was a couple months old, she started seeing Mike. Mike was amazing and really stepped up as a father figure. He’s done nothing but love Bailey and her child and while he can be immature sometimes, I fully believe he means well and has good intentions and love for both of them.
A couple months ago, Bailey told me that she was seeing another guy. She claims that Mike frustrates her and this new guy is just so great and whatnot. At first, I just thought it was the excitement of it all. She’s young, she’s been settled down for a while, and maybe she just wanted to flirt and be given that type of attention. Well, things have escalated. There’s clearly feelings involved and Bailey has been seeing this guy more and more. She will even take the baby with her to meet him, introducing the two. What makes this whole thing worse is the guy Bailey is seeing also has a girlfriend that has no idea about any of this.
I feel like I’ve tried to get through to Bailey gently, asking her why she won’t just leave Mike if she’s unhappy. And she doesn’t really give me a straight answer. For some context though, Mike’s parents are very involved with Bailey and her child. They call her child their grandbaby and buy him birthday, Christmas, and even just because presents. They have so much love for him and are obviously attached. I just feel like she doesn’t want to give all that up. However, for weeks I’ve been feeling so conflicted. I feel like Mike has a right to know and that he should be able to make his own choice based off of that information. I’m just scared that if I tell him, Bailey will find out and not let me see her child anymore, even though I love him and have a relationship with him. I’m also worried that if Mike finds out, Bailey’s child will lose the only father he’s ever known.
So I guess I’m asking what is the best course of action? Do I tell Mike what has been happening? Do I sit Bailey down and try to get through to her? Do I stay out of it completely? Any advice will be appreciated.