I’m 52 and wife is 51. Married 23 years. Daughter 21, no longer at home. Son 16, in school sports all year.
Many things about our marriage are problematic for me. I have worked from home since 2007. Wife works at an office. What people don’t realize about the WFH situation is that it’s terribly lonesome. When my wife comes home, she often wants to go to bed really early or she gets on her phone or wants to only talk about work stuff.
Probably 5-7 nights a month she’s going after work to a massage, hair appointment, dinner with a friend.
She has time for everyone and everything, but she’s not affectionate at all toward me. Doesn’t really wanna talk, hold hands, never initiates a hug or kiss, seldom asks about my day.
I ask her to go on a walk with me, workout with me, run errands together— she’ll just say “Nah.”
We had sex 5 times in 2025. All initiated by me, simply agreed to by her. She hasn’t just lost interest in sex— she’s averse to it. I actually wonder if she’s gay. I asked a year ago and she said she isn’t. She’s not in perimenopause yet according to her doctor, so that doesn’t explain it.
I would say this is how things have been for 5 years.
It’s a tricky situation because she’s overall a very good wife— solid parenting, responsible, honest, smart, reasonable. Looks great in my opinion.
But, it certainly feels like I’m a ghost. I work, don’t drink, no drugs, faithful, involved with the kids, no expensive hobbies, in good shape. It’s really hard to understand how things got to this.