As the title says, I have one sibling (sister who is 5 years younger), and I have always paid for both of us whenever we hang out (dinners, movies, shopping, etc). Given our age gap, growing up, that dynamic made sense and my parents raised me to "look out/take care of her".
However, she graduated from college a year ago and now has a great job making at least 100K a year. I'm in medical school currently and living off of student loans on a budget, and it sometimes feels like she doesn't recognize how much a financial burden it is for me to spend time with her. Because of our dynamic growing up, she has never offered to pay for things when the bill/checkout time comes, and the unspoken expectation or default is that I'll be paying for both of us, even though she now has an income and I don't.
So I guess I have two questions:
- For other adults with siblings out there, is this normal? When you hang out, is it expected that the older sibling always pays for the younger sibling (especially if you have a larger age gap)?
- How do I suggest splitting things more evenly or switching off who pays moving forward? I don't want to seem stingy towards a family member I love, but I don't think this financial dynamic is sustainable for me throughout the rest of med school and even in residency (as most residents only make 60-70K a year and I'll be paying back loans too), and I worry I also may be becoming a bit resentful about this, especially since she doesn't even thank me for footing the bill half the time
TL;DR: I always pay for my younger sibling when we hang out even though she has an income and I don't (in med school on student loans), is this normal for siblings? If not, how do I ask her to start splitting?