My (20F) boyfriend (20M) and I have been dating for 7 months now. We have both been looking to move out of our parent’s places for a while. I moved out when I was 18 and have been living with roommates until this past few months where I returned back to my hometown because I was transferring schools back to my province. I was planning to move out with my two friends (both 20M) at the start of the new school year (September 2026).
My boyfriend expressed to me in the past few months that he is also looking to move from his parent’s house and would like it if we lived together. The issue is, there is not many one-bedroom apartments available in our area and are very expensive. We decided (with our 2 friends) that it would be a good idea for the 4 of us to move into a 3 bedroom apartment to further reduce the cost for all of us.
For some context, these friends of ours are childhood friends of my boyfriend and friends I met through sports around 4 years ago. My boyfriend and I actually met through our friends, we are all very close and we don’t have any friends that we aren’t both equally friends with.
Back to the apartment stuff, all of us thought this was a great idea. I lived with one of these guys before for a year and I’ve went on many weekend trips with this friend group and am almost 100% positive I won’t be having any issues living with our other friend. I’ve gotten many mixed reactions from people when I tell them about our plans though. Of course I’ve gotten a few “you shouldn’t be living with your boyfriend before your married” or judgemental comments about living with 3 guys from my conservative extended family but that’s not what I’m worried about.
I’ve gotten MANY warnings about how it’s a horrible idea for my boyfriend and I to be living with other people. From, “you two are really going to want more privacy than that” and “it’s going to cause a lot of issues in the apartment” to, “what if you get pregnant and you have to break the lease?!?!?!” Now, I have no plans of getting pregnant. I’m worried that they might be right about the other two though? Not so much the privacy thing because honestly anything is better than living at home and we are all very close and respectful of each other. I am worried that there might be tension caused by a couple living in the space possibly? I really didn’t think of this as a possibility but SO MANY people have warned me of that and I’m thinking I might be naive thinking it will all be okay?
Our alternative would be abandoning our two friends to have to pay higher rent and finding a one bedroom that would be close to an hour away from where I am going to school. We already live an hour away but the whole point of getting an apartment is to be closer and to be saving on the cost of gas. My boyfriend moving in with other friends isn’t really an option either because the rest of our friends go to school/work in other cities and provinces.
I have not mentioned any of this to the other three but should I? I am still fairly confident that we will be okay but should I be trying to make other plans? I had no worries about any of this and now I’m kinda panicking.
TL;DR: I want to move in with my boyfriend and our two friends but all my friends and family think it’s a bad idea. Should I still do it?