I’m looking for advice on a trust issue in my relationship.
TL;DR
My girlfriend agreed to block a coworker who’s caused repeated trust issues but hasn’t done it after almost 48 hours. I need advice on how to address the delay and decide whether to keep trying or let go.
EDIT for clarification:
I want to be clear that I did not tell or demand that my girlfriend block anyone. I expressed how I felt and why the continued possibility of contact made me feel unsafe. She is the one who said she would block her as a way to repair trust. I’m struggling because time has passed and that repair hasn’t happened, which is bringing up old trust wounds. This is about whether trust can actually be rebuilt, not about controlling who someone can talk to.
What I’m asking advice on
• How long is reasonable to wait for follow-through on a clear boundary?
• How do I bring this up again without it becoming another argument?
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My girlfriend 26F and I 25F live together and have had ongoing problems related to a coworker 40F of hers (female, married, kids). My girlfriend has always said she doesn’t like this coworker and that nothing inappropriate was going on. However, over time I discovered deleted messages, blocking/unblocking, and at one point the coworker even used a text-free number to contact her.
Each time I brought it up, my girlfriend apologized and promised transparency and no more contact. Despite this, I later found out they were still communicating during a period when we were taking space for mental health reasons. When I confronted her, she said the calls were about the coworker’s personal issues.
Recently, I told her very clearly that for me to feel safe moving forward. Nearly 48 hours have passed, and she still hasn’t done it. I haven’t reminded her because I wanted to see if she would take initiative.
This delay has brought up a lot of resentment. I feel like I’m always the one explaining why things hurt and setting boundaries, while she reacts defensively or says what I want to hear. I’m struggling to tell if I’m overthinking or if this shows a lack of urgency and accountability