I know I’m gonna miss a bunch of info in the middle but here goes nothing. There was a girl, Lexi(24) I went to school with that I really grew feelings for in the 6th grade and we kinda flirted with each other all the way to 12th grade. My friends would always tell me to ask her out in those years but I would respond with I didn’t want to mess up our friendship. Well I found out my senior year that another girl, Taylor(25)actually liked me a little bit so I ended up dating her for like two months or less. It really upset Lexi when she figured out I was dating someone else, which let me know that she genuinely like me a little bit.
Taylor broke up with me for someone else and me and Lexi slowly started talking again. Fast forward to directly after graduation. A group of friends wanted to get together one last time. So we all went bowling, and it’s one of the first times she’s seen me dress up. She looked at me as she liked what she saw. At the end of the bowling session we sat out in the parking lot and all talked and played for a while. When we were getting ready to leave, all my boys were telling me to ask her out before it’s too late and I kept saying I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But they ended up getting me to ask her. She said yes with no hesitation. Then Comes day of where we are supposed to go out (a few days before I go off to college). She ends up canceling and saying she didn’t want to hold me back for enjoying college and things. I was hurt. I said okay to her wishes and left her be. I had a couple of relationships the next few years that didn’t work.
But I ended up with a girl, Annie(26) I met off of a dating site. We haven’t had the best relationship and we’re struggling but she had a kid that I came into her life at 6 months old and she knows no one else and we had two of our own kids, but she tries to leave me all the time while saying I’m a great guy. Lexi would still watch my Snapchat stories all the time until one anniversary I posted her and she disappeared afterwards. I ended up seeing her in a store she was working at the time but I didn’t want to bring it up with customers behind me and my gf in the car, but my heart skipped a beat. It only happens when I’m around her. But I figured I would see her again eventually and I haven’t. It’s been going on 6 years since we graduated and I still randomly have dreams of her. I try not to let it get to me but it seems as it’s getting harder. And I think I just need closure.
TL;DR: have kids and step kids with woman that’s not working out so well, still have dreams and wonder about childhood crush, trying to figure out which way to move forward.