I 25/F am currently in a 7 month relationship with M/27 and I do not feel happy, we are constantly arguing and I always feel like I am not being understood.
I don't know whether it was genuiely my fault or not but it was recently my birthday, I expressed to him how I was slightly disappointed that I didn't see any effort from him to start saving up money for my birthday. He hasn't been working for around 3 months now and I was hoping he would start working nearing my birthday as I even stated to him where I wanted to go for my birthday and what I was hoping as my present but even a week before I did not see any efforts hence I told him how I was feeling, he later on blamed me and somehow guilt tripped me by saying "okay fine, I have no efforts, I have never given you flowers or a ring" when I just wanted him to understand I was talking about efforts for my birthday and I did not even bring up past efforts and there were of course other hurtful things said to me and in the end I had to apologise and admit it was my fault, till this day I never got an apology or reassurance and on my birthday I paid for the so called birthday dinner we had. I am grateful he wished me on my birthday but it felt sad. This is just one incident that has made me view him differently.
Money has been a huge issue in our relationship as he has not been working for three months because of this it has put a strain on me financially as I had to help him pay for his rent, motorcycle loan, food and basic things, leaving me with little money and having to do part time jobs on top of my 9 to 5 job. I have tried discussing the matter with him and have tried to push him gently to start working again but it always ends up with us arguing and him telling me I shouldn't be with him if money is an issue and I should find someone else, because of this I can't help but think he doesn't want to put an effort for me or improve for me. He doesn't have any official education certificates which is important in my country to be able to have a secure job, hence I tried to push him to relearn and take any certificates that would help him secure job but he would constantly tell me later and make empty promises causing me to feel constantly disappointed.
Whenever we are arguing I can never seem to feel understood by him and whenever I tell him this, he says I need to understand him first which makes me like my feelings are being put aside. Recently we had another argument and now he doesn't want to talk to me until Saturday. In this week of silence, I can't help but think is this really the person I want to be with. Can anyone help give me advice?