My husband (39) and I (37f) have been married for 8 years, together for 10. We have one 3 year old child. I am so close to being done with this man it isn’t even funny.
All he does is belittle me. I don’t feel like appreciates me or the things I do to make his life easier, at all.
He is a shift worker, 4 or 5 12s with lots of opportunity for overtime. I work full time and make 95000 a year. We are far from destitute. He will take every overtime shift on the planet and work 12-15 days in a row, come home for an hour to do “bathtime” with our toddler who is begging for his attention while he scrolls his phone because he’s “tired”. I’m sure he is, but if you’re going to tag in you need to be all in.
I take our kid to all extra curricular activities, make dinner when he’s on shift and take care of most of the laundry. We do have house cleaners that come once a month because he got tired of arguing about cleaning and that I had no time to do it, but that took a ton of work on my end to get him to agree. He is to tired all the time he has no patience for me or our son. He often yells at him when he isn’t listening and our kid will cry. He says “daddy angry” and I hate it.
I think my breaking point happened either last night or this morning. We’re trying to get our kid a passport…I smudged the ink on the back and he went off on me like I had done something seriously wrong. We went back to the place this morning and it was restamped, no problem. Hardly worth the tantrum last night. This morning our kid wasn’t listening and didn’t want to get dressed and was running around. He yelled at him and raised his fist….Now I’m no perfect angel by any means, I have sparked our son twice out of frustration, but I have worked really hard to level out my anger and just put him in his room until he’s ready to do what was asked. My spouse would rather give him 100 chances and then get mad when he doesn’t listen. The kid isn’t hearing you, just put him in his room.
My husband is 100% depressed, he was 100% sold a lie by his extreme conservative YouTube idols that getting married and having kids was the key to happiness. He would rather work than live this life with me. He talks about “running away” almost daily and I am over it. I have begged him to get help, and he did for a short time, but he hid what was truly going on from the therapist so they discharged him. I refuse to go to couples counselling that I will have to find and then drag him to.
What else am I supposed to do…