We've been married for just over a year and before we dated for like 9 months. Both 30.
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She is a very strong woman. Very intelligent, had a hard life (abuse, living alone of early age, toxic relationships), went through 8 years (still going) of therapy. She very well know her needs and won't be okay for less, she said that from the start. She has no problems with getting rid of people that don't suit her, she will get into fight etc. She lived like some people won't live in 2 lives.
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Me, on the other had, lived maybe half a life. I was emotionally neglected, had a hard childhood have low self esteem, fear of conflict, some not exactly right views about life, pessimist, overthinker. She opened my eyes and I finally saw how messed I am and I started therapy few months ago.
We often have fights, 90% of time, it's my fault. It's like, I don't want to hurt her, but my lack of presence and emotional neglect affects our marriage. I changed some views, I improved, but not as much as she would want to, and I know that.
It all started to have a toll in the last two month. I'm working two jobs (regular job and stsrted my own company), we started house renovation, family drama and everything piled up and I admit, I emotionally neglected her. Most of the times, I thought she is overreacting and that I'm doing so much to ease her.
She currently don't work (for last 3 months) and I took most of practical and financial stuff on my back. For example, I cooked lunch more times with my two jobs, than she did while she doesn't work. She is kinda depressed, over eating, due to her family problems, she is tired, have back issues. I try to carry most of the practical stuff to ease her, but it took a toll on me and I just can't be so emotionally invested since I'm exhausted.
She moved because of me in this town, doesn't have friends (she has 2 but doesn't go out much) or family here, I'm like her whole world.
While I carry most of the practical stuff, she carries emotional stuff on her half.
And this last fight really made me think. We don't talk for last few days, she took her ring off, everytime I start talking with her, she will tell me that she hears that 10 times and that I alwaxs say I will do more, but I don't and she doesn't spend her energy on talking with me.
This really hit me and I'm overthinking constantly. If we get over this, I will try to do more on my emotional part.
But at the same time, I constantly think if we are even compatible in the long run.